Server Claims She Brings Kids Seated At Her Tables Whatever They Ask For Even After The Parents Say No — ‘I Simply Find It Very Sad’
Is it fair to go against a parent’s authority?
JackF | Canva Pro After a server shared her “controversial” take on how she responds when families seated at her tables don’t allow their kids to order what they want, many individuals largely disagreed with her approach.
The teen server always brings kid customers whatever they ask for, regardless of what parents say.
A server took to TikTok claiming it makes her ‘sad’ to see kids seated at her tables get shut down by their parents, prompting her to intervene.
The 18-year-old server Star, who goes by @beemmmoooo, shared a video of herself fixing her hair in the bathroom at work with the text, “This may be controversial but one thing about me that I’m not sorry for is that whenever a family comes to my job and the parents don’t let their kids order what they want and I see they look sad, I look at them, smile, and ask them directly what they want.”
“I simply find it very sad when parents don’t let their kids get what they want,” she wrote.
In her caption, she explained how she recently served a family at her restaurant, and she noticed the kids looked afraid of their dad. She asked one of the young boys what he wanted to drink and he told her he wanted a soda, but his dad told him no.
“[The boy] just put his head down and I brought it anyways and then he smiled and thanked me,” she wrote.
Star highlighted an important reminder to address kids directly and allow them to speak for themselves, as doing this will contribute significantly to their sense of worth and confidence as they grow.
However, it’s not exactly beneficial to overstep a parent’s right to make decisions for their own children.
The server giving kids whatever they want to order had commenters arguing her actions were problematic.
TikTokers shed light on how parents often have to order for their kids when going out to eat because they genuinely know what’s best. Some kids don’t always know what they want and are prone to changing their minds easily. Others may have dietary restrictions, but most commonly, kids aren’t mindful of what their parents can and can’t afford.
“My dad did this, but it was because he couldn’t afford to get us what we wanted, and we were never allowed to get a soda,” one person shared in the comments. “I was upset as a kid, but looking back he gave us everything else.”
“I have 4 kids, and most of them won’t eat a whole meal, and it goes to waste,” one mom commented. “I order for them to share and try to be mindful of what the majority wants.”
zeljkosantrac | Canva Pro
“Sometimes parents do it for their own good,” another woman commented. “My brother is pre-diabetic, and my parents don’t let him order things with high sugar. I get the kindness, but respectfully, you should respect the parents.”
Star replied to her comment, acknowledging her valid point, but she claimed she was referring to parents who are “cruel” and make their kids sad.
“How do you know when they’re being cruel and when their decision is based off of diet/finances/knowing what their kid actually will and won’t eat?” someone else retorted in the thread.
Kids need to accept disappointments from time to time, as this will contribute to their growth.
Just because a parent tells a kid “no” doesn’t necessarily mean they are being cruel. Of course, some parents do tend to be a little too hard on their kids, and it can be challenging to witness this as a server and not take action — but it’s simply not their place.
Various reasons can contribute to a parent denying their child what they ask for, but regardless of what those reasons are, most of the time, parents know what’s best for their kids.
Additionally, a pivotal aspect of a child's growth is learning how to respect when their parents tell them no. According to social psychologist Susan Newman, when parents tell their kids no, kids can develop resilience and learn how to handle disappointments and rejections, which are natural parts of life.
Star's disregard for this dad’s decision may now confuse the boy and cause him to believe he can still get his way even when his parents say no.
For all we know, she may have given the boy the soda for free, as they don’t typically cost much. While she likely meant well with her gesture, it wasn’t her place to go against the dad’s authority, as she didn't know the full context of the situation.
It’s certainly validating to make kids happy, especially after seeing them look sad. But a parent turning their child down over a soda is not the end of the world, and kids will eventually recognize their parents' efforts once they’re old enough to understand.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.