'High-Performer Coach' Shares 2 Signs You're Too Emotionally Attached To Your Job — And How To Stop
Your career may be impacting your mood.
fizkes | Shutterstock Spending the majority of your life at your job can cause many of us to lose sight of who we are, taking a toll on our mental and emotional well-being.
You may feel as though your mood is defined by what's happening in the workplace, but an emotional attachment to your job is like a double-edged sword.
Elyssa Lynn, a “high-performer coach,” took to TikTok to address this common experience and help you separate emotions from work.
Two signs you're too emotionally attached to your job, according to a 'high performer' coach:
1. You have a ‘hot and cold’ relationship with your work life
“If you feel like you have a hot and cold relationship with your career, like sometimes you’re excited and motivated and feeling so passionate,” Lynn began her video. “And other times, you’re questioning your existence, wondering why you got into this; there’s a reason this is happening.”
StefaNikolic | Canva Pro
You may feel inspired and fulfilled when things at work go well. But during a less successful season, when challenges arise, you may take this stress home, too, questioning your abilities and worth. This toxic cycle will only continue to drain your energy in the long run.
While our careers represent a significant aspect of who we are, our professions are not our identities.
2. Your sense of worth is influenced by your work
If you notice that your mood generally relies on your work performance and ethics, you have allowed your job to interfere with your sense of worth.
“The reason this is happening is due to an emotional attachment to work,” Lynn explained. “Your sense of worth as a person has become so intertwined with how work is going.”
While setting boundaries with your time and pursuing hobbies and activities outside of work can certainly help you cultivate a healthier relationship with your work life, sometimes you may need to dig a little deeper to identify the root behind these unstable emotions.
The coach detailed how to stop letting your work dictate your mood.
Learning how to protect your emotional well-being at work does not necessarily mean you have to care less about your job. Lynn explained how to break this attachment.
“You can have your passion without allowing your mood to be dictated by how work is going,” Lynn expressed. “We have to build your workplace resilience, getting you to a place where you’re approaching work with a data-over-drama mindset.”
She explained that to adopt this perspective, you must focus on the facts and objectives and learn to regulate your emotions so that they are no longer influenced by your work.
“So when we go through the seasons, the quarters, the hard days, the good days, you’re chill,” Lynn said. “You’re neutral. You know it’s business. It’s not personal. It’s just what you do — it’s not who you are.”
You have to evaluate the source of your emotional attachment to cultivate a healthier balance.
According to expert Rachid Zidani, some emotional attachment to our career is necessary, as we need to care if we want to succeed. But it's important to not cross the threshold from caring enough to caring too much.
"In order to optimize our emotional attachment to work, we must unpack OUR unique circumstances and how different underlying sources of attachment drive our behavior," Zidani wrote.
He offered some questions you can ask yourself to better navigate this experience, like why you feel emotionally attached and when you noticed this behavior.
Assess the elements of your career that drive you to succeed and the ones that you may be attached to. What is specifically bringing you stress? What ignites your passion for your career?
Your career is obviously a significant aspect of your life which you should dedicate your time and effort to, but remember not to take yourself so seriously.
Do your best, know your worth, and be kind to yourself.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.