Daughter Concerned That Her 'Boomer' Mom Is 'Touristing Food Pantries' — 'She Says They Want Her To Take The Items'
Her decision to take advantage of food pantries could be a sign of something more dangerous.
FatCamera | Canva Pro Everyone feels embarrassed by their parents at times. But, sometimes, things happen that just can’t be overlooked.
That’s what happened to one daughter who wasn’t sure what to do after learning that her boomer mom was making a habit of visiting multiple food pantries and taking groceries she didn't need.
A daughter became concerned after she learned her boomer mom was taking groceries she didn’t need from food pantries.
A worried daughter took to Reddit to ask for advice after she discovered some disturbing behavior from her mom.
“My mom, 71, has been visiting food pantries and picking up food and supplies,” she explained. “She does not need them.”
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“She is not poor,” the daughter clarified. “She has secure housing. In the next three months, she has a trip to Scotland, Hawaii and Alaska planned.”
The boomer mom, who was not in need of assistance, felt she was doing a good thing by frequenting food pantries.
“She says they want her to take the items,” her daughter stated. There is no real reason the food pantries would want her to take these items if she didn’t need them, the daughter argued.
“The items are not perishables,” she said, indicating that there is no reason food pantries would be so desperate to get them off their hands.
The daughter was left completely confused and unsure of what to do. “I’m so embarrassed by this, and she has zero shame when we point out how ridiculous she is,” she said.
Some Redditors thought the boomer mom's behavior might be a sign of an underlying medical condition.
While the story sounds strange and even comical at first, some thought it might be a warning sign of something much more serious going on.
Several Reddit commenters were convinced that her behavior could be a sign of early-stage dementia.
“Do you think she might be having a mental health/medical problem?” one person asked. “I only ask because as my grandmother’s dementia started, she would do the same thing. It was like a Depression-era compulsion resurfaced, [and] she had to get and hoard foods.”
Another user added, “My wife’s great-aunt did this as well. She ‘donated’ a bunch of it to us, and 95% was tossed because it was so horribly expired.”
“My mom is the same way!” a third person chimed in. “She lives in assisted living, and if there are cookies, oatmeal packets (which she hates), or fruit she will put them in her walker and take them to her room!”
Experts confirmed that food hoarding can be a sign of dementia.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, it is very possible that the behavior this woman is exhibiting is indicative of dementia.
“Persons with dementia experience memory loss, mental confusion, disorientation, impaired judgment, and behavioral changes,” they said. “One of these changes may include ‘hoarding.’ While hoarding is often harmless, it can become a health and safety issue for the person with dementia.”
Based on the timeline the Alzheimer’s Association offered, it would also make sense for this woman in particular.
“Hoarding for a person with dementia may be more likely to happen in the early and middle stages of dementia and often stems from trying to have some control in their lives,” they added.
Is it right to take food you don’t need from a food pantry?
The question that seemed to be posed by this woman’s daughter, and the point made by other commenters, seemed to be whether or not this was effectively taking advantage of food pantries.
Second Harvest of the Greater Valley said, “Food banks provide a vital service by ensuring that people who are struggling do not go hungry.”
Since food pantries are there for those who need them most, wouldn’t that mean that taking from them when you’re not in need would be wrong? One would think so.
It would likely be best for this woman to be stopped from taking any more food from food pantries and to have her screened for any potential medical problems.
While this will undoubtedly be a difficult conversation for the daughter to have with her mom, it is a blessing in disguise that can open the door to medical care that could help her mom in the long run.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.