Why High-Performing People Often Struggle With An ‘Intense Dislike’ For Average Thinkers
“One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don't apply themselves."
insta_photos | Shutterstock Many people assume that being a high-performing person puts you at an advantage over the rest of your peers. However, the unspoken truth is that it can be a rather lonely existence.
Most high-performing people find it difficult to connect with the average thinker and often struggle with even liking them.
High-performing people struggle with an ‘intense dislike’ for average thinkers since they do not always apply themselves the way they should.
Elise Micheals, a trauma-informed men's coach, took to TikTok to share her findings on high-performing men who make up 1% of the population.
“If you’re a high-performing man, one of the things you’re gonna struggle with is intense dislike of people,” she said.“Society has very low standards and expectations for themselves, so they’re very hard to relate to. When you try to share the wisdom in your experience with them, they often come up with excuses to support their limitations.”
High-performing people cannot abide by excuses when they know that success takes a degree of sacrifice.
For example, suppose you are a high-performing athlete. When explaining how you reached your fitness goals by waking up early before work in the morning, it would be beyond frustrating to hear an average thinker complain that they did not have the time to get to the gym and did not want to give up sleep by waking up early.
“Because of this, it becomes increasingly more difficult to hold back your frustration. A + B = C, and when people see the formula but don’t act on the formula and then complain that the formula doesn’t work, you simply cannot be around them.”
What’s even more exhausting for high-performing individuals is that if they ever need to vent or unload, people often ridicule them for even daring to complain when they have this extravagant and successful life.
However, if most average thinkers applied themselves and worked to their full potential, they could have the same successes.
While Micheals’ advice is geared toward men, it applies to everyone.
High performers shared their frustrations with the people in their lives who were unwilling to even try.
“One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don't apply themselves,” one TikTok user commented.
“It's right there, you just have to take it,” another user wrote.
“I swear. I tried to help bring my friends up and it’s like talking to a wall, even when they see me doing it. Now… I just don’t talk to anyone!” another user shared.
Average thinkers often assume that everything is simply handed to high performers without having to put in the effort.
However, if they were to get a clearer perspective, they would learn that most opportunities are not granted without a strenuous amount of work.
When we see one of our colleagues get a job promotion, we may feel initially overlooked and underappreciated.
Instead, we should look into how the colleagues were performing, how early they were arriving at work and how late they were leaving, and what new ideas they were bringing to the table.
By adopting some of your successful colleague’s traits, you, too, could get that promotion.
It just all depends on how far you’re willing to go and work for it.
KieferPix | Shutterstock
A McKinsey study estimated that high performers are 400% more productive than average thinkers. As the work becomes more complex, their performance outshines average thinkers by a whopping 800%.
While being a high performer can grant you great success, existence can get isolating when your average-thinking peers hope and pray for the same yet do nothing to make it happen.
It can become frustrating when there is no helping them, and you may even start to feel shame about your achievements.
Instead, try to use it to motivate yourself even further, and keep putting in the effort while the average thinker sits back and watches. Own your high performance and success.
“Most people are scared to attach their identity to their performance. High performers are willing to put themselves out there and place their identities on the line,” Brendon Burchard wrote in her book, “High-Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way.”
There is always room for improvement — both for average thinkers and high performers.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.