Dressmaker's Friend Is Angry She Can't Make Her Wedding Dress While She's On Maternity Leave
"I asked her if she'd hit her head and why she'd think it's OK to ask me to put stress on my pregnancy for her wedding dress?"
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV | Shutterstock Like most healthy relationships, friendships are a partnership of give and take. When that relationship becomes unbalanced, however, things can deteriorate quickly.
One woman was willing to go beyond the call of friendship and make her friend a wedding dress free of charge. But when their timelines didn't match up, the bride got angry, putting her wants above her friend's well-being.
The dressmaker planned to make her friend’s wedding dress as a gift to her.
“I am a dressmaker and have my own shop,” the 38-year-old woman explained on Reddit. “It has been a custom in my friend group that my wedding gift to friends who marry has been an original wedding dress made to their taste, and [I] have done this for two friends.”
Africa Studio | Shutterstock
Recently, some things have changed for the dressmaker.
“I love my job and I love my friends so it has always been an easy choice for me,” she said. “However, I am currently 26 weeks pregnant with my first child and trying to lessen my workload as I prepare for maternity leave and pass larger projects over to my employees.”
The dressmaker's friend's wedding was a lot sooner than she had anticipated.
Amid this joyous time for the dressmaker, her friend revealed another reason to celebrate.
“My friend informed me last night that she is getting married,” the dressmaker wrote.
“I was of course so happy for her and congratulated her. She asked if I’d be making her dress for her and I told her of course, to just let me know when they had a date.”
Motortion Films | Shutterstock
“I was told they already had a date, January 19,” she continued. “That was fine, a year and five months, perfect, plenty of time to do the designs and make it."
However, the bride quickly corrected her friend, informing her that the wedding would be in January of 2025 — not 2026 — just five months away.
The dressmaker knew that she wouldn't be able to create a dress for her friend so quickly.
She found herself in an awkward position, writing, “I was a bit shocked at this and told her that if that’s the date she’d picked, I’d have to take back my promise as there is no way I can make her dress in that time frame as I’ll not be too long postpartum.”
Unfortunately, the bride was not empathetic to her friend’s dilemma.
“She didn’t understand this at all, pointing out how I’ll be taking time off work soon anyways and, ‘Can’t I just use that time to make her dress?’” the dressmaker recalled.
"I admit in hindsight I got a bit snappish here and she likely didn't realize just how much work goes into a wedding dress," the woman wrote, "but I asked her if she'd hit her head and why she'd think it's OK to ask me to put stress on my pregnancy for her wedding dress?"
Even still, the bride called her out in their group chat. "It’s clear her feelings are hurt,” the dressmaker added.
As for the dressmaker's feelings, she admitted that she was both annoyed and regretful over the incident. Despite her friend's lack of consideration, she still wanted to make it right and even considered making her a simpler dress for another part of her wedding, like the reception or rehearsal dinner. Yet many commenters advised her to do no such thing, insisting she was being taken advantage of by her so-called friend.
"You're growing a human and then you will be birthing a tiny human and then recovering from giving birth while taking care of a newborn," one Redditor pointed out. "Where does she think wedding gown-making is going to go amid all of that?"
"She does not deserve a dress from you," another commenter bluntly wrote.
The dressmaker's friend likely isn’t giving herself enough time to plan a wedding in general.
While this friend may prefer to have a short engagement, it’s quite possible that she’s not giving herself enough time to properly plan. Aside from the wedding dress, finding a venue, setting a guest list, sending invitations, and hiring vendors takes time.
According to Brides, “It takes about one year to plan a wedding.” Additionally, Brides said a short engagement is typically considered to be about six months — a bit longer than what this bride is working with.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock
It seems that she would have difficulty planning a wedding in that timeframe and finding any sort of wedding dress that would work.
Instead of spreading negativity about her friend, this bride should remember to be grateful for her generous offer and not make her pregnancy even harder.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.