Wife Discovers Her Husband Has Been Secretly Tipping Extra To Compensate Her ‘Bad Behavior’ At Restaurants
He claimed that his wife constantly embarrasses him by the way she interacts with restaurant employees.
DC Studio | Shutterstock A husband admitted that his wife embarrassed both of them whenever they went out to eat at restaurants because of the behavior that she exhibited toward the restaurant staff.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, the 30-something-year-old man claimed that due to his wife's behavior, he often took matters into his own hands and offered them extra money so that the restaurant staff wouldn't think she was rude.
A wife discovered that her husband secretly tips staff extra to cover for her 'bad behavior' at restaurants.
In his Reddit post, he explained that he and his wife dine out occasionally. When they eat at a sit-down restaurant, he said his wife has " an annoying habit" that he assumed she inherited from her family. She often complains, sends food back if it's not perfect and up to her standards, and makes needless requests or substitutions.
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"It can easily take 5 minutes for her just to order her own food, and sometimes I've already finished my meal by [the] time she gets her food because she sends it back, asks for modifications, etc. I know restaurant staff don't appreciate it. I've tried talking to her about this, but she doesn't see an issue with it," he shared.
He remarked that since both he and his wife make a good amount of money, he has no problem compensating for the fact that his wife can be a bit of a handful for restaurant staff.
So, he recently began documenting her bad behavior and will calculate a tip in addition to the normal gratuity as a way to apologize for it.
Providing examples, he explained that he would calculate an additional tip if his wife complained about not having a certain beverage, which would equal an extra $5; if she asked more than 5 questions about something on the menu, another $5; if she asked for a new drink because there was too much ice, another $5; and if she sent a meal back even though it was exactly what she ordered, another $5.
At first, his wife didn't notice that her husband was secretly compensating staff.
"She noticed I was spending a lot of time on writing a tip amount and asked why. I showed her what I wrote. She's been mad at me since, saying I'm embarrassing her to the staff. I told her she's embarrassing us both," he continued.
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The issue with the husband's extra tipping isn't that he feels obligated to do it; it's that offering extra money to servers doesn't change his wife's unruly behavior. It's a Band-Aid.
Being rude or inconsiderate of restaurant staff doesn't take into account that they're just human beings trying to make a living, and having to deal with rude and ridiculous requests from customers doesn't make their jobs any easier, especially considering a majority of the time, people don't leave adequate tips.
What's more concerning, however, is the fact that his wife's behavior towards restaurant employees is a major red flag in terms of her character. Dubbed "The Waiter Rule," it's often warned that anyone who is nice to you but does a complete Jekyll and Hyde when waitstaff, or any support staff for that matter, approaches offers a glimpse into their true personality and moral values.
If his wife's behavior truly bothers him, he should attempt to have a conversation with her about it instead of throwing money at the problem and hoping it'll fix everything.
In the comments section, people were divided on whether he's been in the wrong for secretly tipping extra for his wife's attitude. Some agreed that no harm was done, and the servers definitely did not complain about receiving additional tips.
"I think this is hilarious and a good message to her. If she doesn't want to be embarrassed by your tip list, she shouldn't be embarrassing with her behavior," one Reddit user wrote. Another added, "This is great. Maybe seeing it written down will give her some perspective. These types of patrons are the worst, and it’s such second-degree embarrassment when they are at your table."
Others pointed out that instead of attempting to rectify the situation, he's simply embarrassing his wife more. "Your wife is the reason that people in the food service/hospitality/customer service world are so miserable, and the industry as a whole is struggling to find good help. You are enabling her by not telling her to stop and be polite."
Making a food-service industry worker's job harder by either being rude, overly complaining, or not being considerate of their time and energy isn't good and should be nipped in the bud as soon as possible.
While customers are entitled to an experience that they can enjoy, there's also a major difference in how you go about it, and it shouldn't ever be in a way that makes restaurant employees feel slighted.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.