Therapists Reveal The 5 Best Ways To Feel Your Feelings (Without Talking)
The feelings that make you talk in a destructive way need to be felt not dealt.
ljubaphoto | Canva Intense emotion hits with a rush, ends with a curse, and you are left in the middle of a mess of feelings trying to do damage control. Instead of being overwhelmed and swept into reactivity, you can feel your feelings, honor them, and process them more healthily.
Here are the best ways to feel your feelings (without talking):
1. Listen to your body's signs
The body can be more “articulate” than words when you can and want to attend to its messages. Examples can include skin eruptions, trouble sleeping, digestive issues, and even regular, relaxed breathing. Of course, the challenge is to interpret such messages accurately and parse out what is a real physical concern and what hints at emotions that would benefit from exploring their layers of meaning.
— Ruth Schimel, PhD, Career & Life Mgt. Consultant, Author
2. Mindfully immerse in the experience
A profound way to feel your feelings without talking is to cultivate a deep sense of mindfulness and self-awareness. Embrace the power of silence and introspection. Sit quietly and allow yourself to fully experience each emotion as it arises. Observe your feelings without judgment, letting them flow through you like waves. Engage in creative outlets such as painting, listening to music, or writing, where you can channel your emotions into something tangible and expressive.
Remember, feelings are transient and part of the human experience. By accepting them fully and giving yourself the space to experience them without the need for talking, you can find a deeper understanding of yourself and a greater sense of peace.
— Clare Waismann, Addiction Specialist and Counselor
3. Nurture your feelings
Your emotions are in your body. It’s like a screaming baby that wants your attention. You wouldn’t tell a crying baby to "get over it," would you? You’d nurture the baby. Emotions need the same thing. They want your undivided attention. They don’t want to be repressed, pushed away, or denied.
Take another deep breath. Place your hands on your heart, belly, or wherever the emotional pain is. This is where your stuck emotions are. Hold it. Be present with it. Breathe deeply into it. Give this emotional pain your undivided attention and then go to the final step.
— Anna Thea, Teacher/Author
4. Tap the source of your inner ocean
Imagine that your feelings are waves in the ocean. Notice where they are moving in your body, is it in your chest, your stomach, behind your eyes, etc? Notice and name the sensations the waves are causing and focus on relaxing your breath and muscles while the emotions move up and crest like a wave, and then come down and smoothly move over the surface of the shore.
— Eli Harwood, Counselor/Therapist
5. Absorb to understand
As I grow and improve as a human being, I gain the perspective of feeling and absorbing emotions in a way that I can assess and use to make better choices. If I understand that a feeling of rejection or sadness is my brain worrying about (literally) being killed because I am alone in the wilderness, it helps me to gain a greater understanding of how to control my emotions, why I am feeling the way I’m feeling, and choosing my approach for how to act next.
Pheelings Media via Shutterstock
I am certainly not saying to stop feeling your emotions or become coldhearted or apathetic to the world —just the opposite. I am saying that by understanding yourself and your emotions, you can take control of your decisions, your life, and your happiness, to maximize the positive emotions your brain feeds you regularly.
— James Michael Sama, Author
Feeling feelings without talking can be as easy as being kind to yourself by extending understanding and compassion to your emotions and letting them be felt without shame or becoming a curse.
Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.