Mom Faces Criticism After Letting All Her Kids Blow Out Her Daughter’s Birthday Candles — ‘Some Parents Need To Say No’
“Tell your youngest daughter that everything is not about her.”
Lucky Business / Shutterstock.com After posting a lighthearted video celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, Cecily Bauchmann faced backlash for including her other kids in her daughter's celebration.
After her daughter had blown out the candles on her cake, her little sister, specifically, cried and pouted jealously. Instead of simply telling the younger kids that it was big sister's special day, however, Bauchmann relit the candles, letting each of the younger kids get a chance to blow them out.
While letting her kids blow out the candles kept the peace in her house, the criticism erupted online. Accusations of Bauchmann being a “bad mom” prompted her to remove the original video.
A mom of four faced criticism online after she let her other kids blow out her 11-year-old daughter’s birthday candles.
Cecily Bauchmann's lifestyle and family-centered content on TikTok have earned her millions of followers, but with that popularity inevitably comes haters. Despite having a devoted fan base and a positive comment section, the birthday party backlash has only gained steam, prompting many to consider the validity of the criticisms.
There are times when teaching kids to share makes sense, but there are moments when kids need to learn that it's perfectly okay to embrace the spotlight and lean into fanfare that is exclusively theirs to enjoy.
Case in point: After the birthday girl blew out her candles, covering her sibling’s mouth as she tried to get in on the fun, Bauchmann gave each of the younger kids a chance to take the attention away from their sister. They were each given a chance to blow out her candles as if it was their special day.
“This was so sibling-coded,” she joked in the caption of the deleted video. “#Motherhood.”
“Parents who can’t say no are the worst,” one person wrote in a follow-up comment. “It’s her day; just let her have this moment.”
Most online criticism centered around the fact that the mom chose to sacrifice the eldest child's happiness so the younger siblings wouldn't act out.
While it’s clear from other videos on Bauchmann’s page that she dedicated a great deal of time, attention, and energy preparing for her daughter’s birthday — including shopping trips, baking the birthday cake, and celebrating with decorations — many commenters suggested she was “stealing attention” away from her daughter’s big day.
“This is a huge part of socializing those kids,” one said. “They need to learn those boundaries. People can have things to themselves and they don’t always have to share.”
A content creator named Danie stitched Bauchmann's video with her own observations about the incident. “You can see her smile drop with every kid that blows out the candles,” Danie noted.
“You could’ve taken her to the side to remind her that it’s not her special day… don’t make your oldest child feel like they’re not as important.”
As other parents would agree, keeping the peace between siblings can be a challenge, especially for younger kids around the same age. You’re pressured to divide attention equally, even with special circumstances like health issues or birthdays, while still keeping everyone happy.
It’s exactly what Bauchmann thought she was doing — giving them all a chance to feel appreciated, even on her eldest's birthday.
Whether it upset her daughter or not, it was her choice as a parent to keep things upbeat for the party. Unfortunately, parenting experts would agree that it was not the best choice. Parenting expert and author Heather Shumaker is of the mindset that while sharing is an important lesson in kindness, forced sharing does nothing but breed resentment. It doesn't teach kids to lend a hand and offer of themselves; it simply, as Shumaker put it in an interview with PositiveParentingSolutions, teaches them that "sharing feels bad." There's a time and a place for sharing, and this decidedly was not it.
Despite that choice, she’s been continuously criticized even on unrelated posts. “You’re a terrible mom, by the way,” one person harshly stated — all because of birthday candles.
The mom's choice to let her younger kids share in their sister's birthday did not warrant the level of harsh criticism she received.
Of course, providing a healthy space for all of your kids to feel loved and appreciated is essential; it's a huge part of cultivating a great parent-child relationship as they grow older.
However, not everyone is perfect — including Bauchmann. Did she miss an opportunity to teach all her kids a valuable lesson that day? Probably. Did she deserve to be dragged over the coals for it? Definitely not.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock.com
There’s a time and place for calling out bad parenting, but nitpicking a singular video and shaming a loving mother isn’t one of them. Bauchmann deleted the video, acknowledged other people’s parenting opinions, and moved on.
While family vloggers have gotten a bad reputation in recent years, especially following controversy and discussions about financial compensation for kids and autonomy, Bauchmann has served as an example of doing it right. Not only does she share the benefits of her online compensation with her children, but she’s also open and honest about the less glamorous aspects of parenting.
Bauchmann doesn’t deserve to be “canceled” over birthday candles or lose her livelihood over a parenting mistake that she chose to share with her followers.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.