If You Want To Be Truly Respected By People Around You, Say Goodbye To These 7 Behaviors
Because we all want to be admired.
Cast Of Thousands / Shutterstock We all want to be loved and respected by the people around us. But getting there? Now, that can be a real challenge.
The reality is, earning someone's respect isn't always easy; however, it's always worth it. And sometimes, it can take adjusting your behavior to become admired. But for others to respect you, there are certain habits and actions you need to let go.
Here are 7 behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you want to be truly respected
1. Gossiping and demeaning others
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While some people may find gossip to be highly offensive or irresponsible, there’s no doubt that there are certain things we simply can't turn away from. But if you want to be respected more, you need to learn to have some self-control.
If you find yourself gossiping or demeaning others, it might be time to turn away from the situation and take a step back. Understand that, like anything in life, there’s a need for balance. So, find it.
2. Making promises you can't keep
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Have you ever told someone they could depend on you, and that you would “get things done,” only to go back on your word? Putting yourself in this position is the worst feeling, so do yourself a favor and avoid this trap completely.
Don't make promises you can't keep. In fact, research has found that when we break promises, our brain registers it as emotional conflict as a result of suppressing honesty.
So, if someone is asking for something, simply say, "I will do my best to do this, but I can't make any promises." Choosing to be upfront, in the beginning, will save you tons of heartache and will earn you respect.
3. Saying yes when you really mean no
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It's a painful experience when you say yes to something you don't want to do. You don't want to do this one thing, but you feel bad if you don't.
But not speaking up for yourself won't just damage the way other people see you; no, it will damage your ability to create healthy boundaries instead, and that’s not a good thing for someone who wants respect. Especially since not having good boundaries can lead to chronic stress down the road.
4. Always making excuses instead of being upfront
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We all have that one friend who makes excuses for why they can’t go out. Or, maybe you are that friend. Understandably, this can be infuriating for those around you. After all, your friends just want to spend time with you, and you being indirect with them is frustrating.
To earn respect, you need to say goodbye to this habit. If you don't feel like going out, just say it. You don’t need to make excuses for why you don’t want to go out; you’re an adult, to be fair. Just be blunt about it. Being clear in your communication ups your trustworthiness in the end.
5. Saying sorry when there's nothing to apologize for
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Most people have a bad habit of over-apologizing. Maybe someone bumps into you and you feel an overwhelming need to say, "I'm sorry." But if you want to be respected, you need to stop reacting this way. This is especially true for women, as women tend to apologize more than men. “because [men] have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior."
So, keep yourself in check when it comes to apologizing. Don't say sorry for every little mishap, only when the situation calls for it.
6. Putting everyone else before yourself
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People who are the most respected tend to put themselves first, but not in the way you think. Sure, respected individuals may have sacrificed a few things, done a heroic act or worked very hard to provide.
However, being perceived as a person worthy of respect starts from within. This means you can't expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself. And how do you respect yourself? By putting yourself first, honoring your boundaries and experiences, and putting self-care first.
7. Seeking the approval of others
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People who are respected march to the beat of their own drum. They are independent and don't care about what others have to say about it. Understandably, this is easier said than done.
So, if you want to stop seeking the approval of others, psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen suggests a few steps to take: Go with what feels right to you; ask yourself what is or isn't necessary in your day-to-day schedule; make decisions based on what's right for you; and ask yourself what’s holding you back.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.