Pregnant Woman Refuses To Allow Husband's 'Girl Best Friend' To Host Their Baby Shower Despite Her Persistence
His bestie is also offering unsolicited advice to the woman on what she should and shouldn't be eating during her pregnancy.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock After a woman and her husband announced that they were expecting their first child, the husband’s best friend decided that she had to be as involved as much as possible throughout the pregnancy. She sent text messages offering the expectant mother advice on what she should be eating and how she should take care of her body, and even offered to host their baby shower.
However, when the woman kindly declined the offer, her husband’s bestie demanded that she be the one to host the shower despite the woman informing her that she had other ideas in mind for the event.
The woman said her husband's ‘girl best friend’ insisted that she host their baby shower despite the woman declining the offer.
Sharing her story to Reddit, the 22-year-old expectant mother revealed that she and her husband got married as teenagers and always knew they wanted to start a family young. Shortly after getting married, the woman’s husband befriended a classmate at his college named Sam, and the two became extremely close. The woman said that she was not bothered at all by the fact that Sam was a woman.
“Both of them grew up Baptist, and while he's left the church, they had a very similar childhood and bonded quite quickly,” the woman wrote.“Despite what you may be thinking she and I got along really well. She and I liked the same music and we were both studying in relatively the same fields so she became a friend of mine as well.”
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Her husband's best friend has tried to be involved in every aspect of the woman's pregnancy.
“She's been texting him nonstop with baby advice and what she likes to call ‘advice for mama’ which includes sometimes relatively targeted jabs at what I should eat,” the woman wrote. “Honestly I kept brushing the texts off, but it got to a point where the conversations were less about the baby and more about me which I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with because she wasn't texting me she was texting my husband.”
When the woman’s husband asked her how he should proceed to make her most comfortable, she advised him to ignore Sam’s messages. However, when the woman sent out invitations to her baby shower that her mother and sister were planning, Sam texted the woman.
“She said something along the lines of wanting to host my baby shower and set it up,” the woman wrote. “I told her politely that my mom was planning on hosting it with the help of my sister and that it was a special moment for them and I wouldn't want to take that away.” Despite the woman’s polite decline of Sam’s offer, she ignored her message and dropped by her house unannounced to discuss venues where she wanted to host the shower.
“I told her once again that my mom and sister were hosting it and she told me that she should take her advice and let her plan it because she'd ensure that the baby shower would be better if she planned it particularly because she'd be working on the menu,” the woman shared.
The woman said her husband's best friend refused to take no for an answer.
“Whether it was pregnancy hormones or just bottled-up rage, I told her that the jabs she'd been making at me behind my back about my diet during this pregnancy to my husband were really annoying that no she could not host this shower and from now on her unsolicited advice was not appreciated especially if she can't say it to my face.”
Sam did not appreciate the woman’s confession and texted the woman's husband later that day to express her hurt, attempting to defend herself by claiming she was coming from a good place. “That night my husband's phone blew up with messages from Sam saying that he had no right to show her those messages and they were just supposed to just be health tips because Sam was studying nutritional science and only wanted to help her best friend and ensure a happy baby and life,” the woman wrote.
Despite coming from a good place, most people believed the best friend had no right to dictate the woman’s baby shower decisions.
“Sam overstepped massively… If Sam was truly your friend she would text you directly, listen to you, understand that advice doesn't have to be taken, not make this about her, and not be upset when you get shown the advice that should be meant for you,” one Redditor commented.
“Everyone always has the most insane amount of unsolicited advice for pregnant women and new mothers. Trust me, we've all experienced it,” another user shared. “You repeatedly told her that your mother and sister are organizing your baby shower and didn't need any help and she didn't listen to you and insisted she could do better. Now you're justifiably pissed.”
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Others argued that the woman’s husband had to set strict boundaries with Sam that would prevent her from interfering with his wife’s decisions throughout her pregnancy. According to licensed clinical social worker Maggie Martinez, the commenters aren't wrong. She explained, "When you set healthy boundaries for a friend, you are providing an example of how they can also start to set healthy boundaries."
While offering to host a friend’s baby shower is a kind gesture, the decision of where they want to have it and who they would like to host it is ultimately up to the expectant parents and no one else. A friend’s role is to be supportive of whatever decision they make instead of constantly messaging their husbands unsolicited advice of what they should and should not be doing.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
