Grandma Tells Her Family Why She Finally Passed The Mustard And Mayo Torch To Her Husband — ‘Don’t Ask Me About It, Ask Him’
The hero we need in times like these.
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock A family’s well-being depends on the upkeep of endless household tasks, like doing laundry, planning meals, and remembering to pick up milk — all while juggling carpools and soccer practice and making sure everyone is nurtured, nourished, and cared for.
Housework has long been framed as a woman’s responsibility, a belief that creates an inherently imbalanced dynamic between partners. Yet one woman showed how simple it can be to divide invisible labor in a more equitable way.
A grandma explained why she passed the mayo and mustard torch to her husband, announcing that she’d no longer look for those items in the fridge.
Mamaw stood in the living room, in front of her loving family, to break the news of the order of operations regarding kitchen items.
“I was in charge of the mayonnaise and the mustard,” she said before sharing her underlying motivation for letting those tasks go.
“Every time Papa said, ‘Do we have any mustard? Do we have any mayonnaise?’” she explained. She ostensibly got tired of finding the condiments for her husband and made the life-altering decision to simply stop helping him in that particular realm.
“Yesterday, l passed the torch to him,” Mamaw declared. “He is now in charge of mustard and mayonnaise.”
Delegating condiments to her husband allows Mamaw to lessen her mental load, even if it’s only by a few jars of mayo.
Any division of invisible labor makes relationships more even.
A male content creator named Zach Watson spoke directly to other men, describing the worth that invisible labor holds. “Just because you don’t know the labor your partner is doing does not mean that it is not there,” he said. “It’s just invisible.”
“I would say for any good partnership, we want to pull our partners in closer, to create visibility for the invisible labor that they’re doing,” he said.
Mamaw and Papa’s adult kids were present for the historic meeting, along with their own kids, which highlighted the power of modeling how you want to be treated and setting expectations for future generations.
“Congratulations, Papa,” the kids exclaimed, bursting into a round of applause for their father’s new position in the family hierarchy.
“Don’t ask me about it,” Mamaw continued, setting her strict mayo and mustard boundary. “Ask him.”
“I am the new Mayo Manager,” Papa proclaimed, smiling as his kids clapped and celebrated his promotion.
“Do not ask me if we have something,” Mamaw reiterated. “Ask the Captain of the Condiment. He is now in charge.”
Invisible labor is crucial and also never-ending. There are always clothes to wash and fold. There are always groceries to be bought and meals to be made. Our lives depend on this form of labor, yet because it's relegated to women, it's not compensated or even seen as "real" work.
A study from the University of Michigan quantified just how much labor having a husband adds, reporting that being married to a man creates seven extra hours of housework a week while having a wife saves men an hour of housework a week.
Married women with more than three kids do an average of 28 hours of household labor every week, while married men with more than three kids only do 10 hours of chores a week.
Yet as Mamaw and Papaw showed, families everywhere can break free from that daily form of oppression and make their lives and relationships more balanced, so everyone can find their peace.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture and all things to do with the entertainment industry.