9 Psychological Truths About Love That Nobody Tells You About
Important information for anyone who's ever been or ever wants to be in love.
ORION PRODUCTION / Shutterstock I can be the first to admit that entering the dating scene is a real jump scare. Everywhere you look you're met with unrealistic expectations about what you should and shouldn't expect when it comes to love.
And with that being said, it's no wonder why we are gobsmacked when it comes to relationships. After all, most of us either get Prince Charming or Joe Goldberg with no in-between.
Which is why health and wellness coach Joe Moody recently shared nine psychological truths about love that you should expect.
9 Psychological Truths About Love That Nobody Tells You About
1. Some people keep changing partners to avoid changing themselves.
Have you ever met someone who switches partners like they change underwear? And when you talk to them about it you're often met with the, "I just haven't found the one," defense.
Here's the truth: most of these people have zero issues with finding the "right one." No, the real issue is them being able to change for the right one.
2. It's not a lack of love but a lack of friendship and playfulness that makes for unhappy relationships.
I'm sorry to say but we've all been lied to. The whole falling in love at first sight thing just doesn't last.
The reality is, that love is more than just grand gestures. Real true love is creating a foundation built off friendship and playfulness. To laugh together, to cry together, to rage together — that is what makes love-love.
3. People who spend more time outdoors are more likely to be happy, and happy people are more likely to fall in love.
According to the American Psychological Association, "Spending time in nature is linked to both cognitive benefits and improvements in mood, mental health and emotional well-being." Yet, why does this matter?
Happier people are more likely to fall in love, says Moody. So if you want to increase your chances of finding love then going outside just a little bit more might be the answer.
4. Positivity frequency is magnetic.
When I'm feeling negative there are two things I might try and do. One, I might cry into my pillow and get Chinese takeout. Two, I try putting myself into a positive mindset.
But wait — isn't this kinda fake? Don't get me wrong, you should never fake it until you make it. If you're feeling depressed or anxious you should let your partner know.
However, how we choose to move matters. We can either surround ourselves with things that make us happy or choose to stay in negativity. And I don't know about you, but I'll choose happiness any day of the week.
5. You can have unconditional love for someone without having to give them unconditional access to your energy.
Now, this truth about love can be a tough pill to swallow. Have you ever adored someone that you know you shouldn't have? Like, you love this person so much even though this person is poison in your life.
The truth about love is this: You can have unconditional love for someone and give them zero access to your energy. And I get it, this is easier said than done. But remember this, if you give just anyone access to your energy it can only end as a recipe waiting for disaster.
6. Love is the condition where the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
The truth about love is that it isn't selfish. No, truly loving someone requires a little bit of sacrifice or compromise on your part.
And understanding that love is when your person's happiness is essential to your own, matters. It matters because this mindset will control how you show up.
7. Perfectionism can result in depression.
According to the National Institute of Health, "Perfectionism is believed to be linked to depression because perfectionists base their self-worth on being successful and on the need to be actively working toward their goals."
If this is you then you need to understand that in life you're bound to fail. Yes, you'll mess up and make plenty of wrong decisions. Yet, how we learn from those mistakes matters.
And the truth is, we can either find joy and knowledge in our mistakes or misery and pain from our mishaps.
8. Accept what's in front of you like a gift or a lesson. Either way, that's a win-win.
Have you ever heard the phrase, "The grass isn't always greener on the other side?" Well, there's a hidden truth behind this phrase.
The grass is always greener syndrome is real. The sad reality is people will trade 80% for 20%. Yet, why is this? Well, because we as human beings want what we can't have and we crave what everyone else desires.
To feel special and different is a boost for most. But understanding the gift or lesson is right in front of you is a must, that you should know.
9. You know someone likes you when they begin to mirror you
According to the BBC, "When people are attracted to each other, they tend to sit or stand in the same way and copy each other's physical gestures. This is known as 'mirroring'."
Sharing my own personal experience this makes sense. When I first re-met my now fiance we were unconsciously mirroring each other. We sat similarly, we laughed, similarly, heck we might have even breathed similarly.
So, if the person you love most is mirroring you then congrats — this is a psychological truth about love.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics