Man Takes 18-Year-Old Son He Raised Out Of Will After Discovering That He Is Not His Biological Father
“I was putting all my effort into raising another man’s child.”
Fizkes / Shutterstock.com After over 15 years of marriage and an 18-year-old son, a man learned the heart-wrenching truth that his son was not his biological child.
He turned to Reddit after learning the long-held family secret and his subsequent decision to remove him from his will.
A man took his 18-year-old son out of his will after discovering he’s not his biological father — ‘I never had a real son all this time.’
“My mother-in-law said she had to tell me something important,” he started in the post. “I went to meet her, and she told me that my child is actually my wife’s high school boyfriend’s baby. She gave birth at 20, but apparently, she was cheating on me…she said my wife told her the truth after he was born.”
When his wife urged her to keep the secret to herself, this man’s mother-in-law did. “She said the baby was already born, and nothing could be done. I was mad and asked her why she [waited] to tell me now. She told me it was because she saw my son hanging out with his biological dad at a park and believes he’s back in their lives.”
“I decided not to shoot the messenger and went out to confront my wife and son about this, after a long argument they told the truth. The biological dad was back and wanted to meet his real son.”
His wife cheated, and despite knowing the truth about her son's biological dad, she never admitted it.
While their conversation took a truth-telling turn, this man is still feeling conflicted — he’d made the decision to divorce his wife but also cut “his wife’s son” out of the will. “I never had a real son, and all this time, I was putting all my energy and effort into raising another man’s child. I’m also consulting if it is possible to sue the biological father for all the money I’ve spent raising him.”
Commenters urged the man to consider his relationship with his son, even if it’s a difficult reminder of the betrayal of his wife. “He’s your son. This is the child you’ve raised for his whole life… even if he knew about the biological father for a few months, he’s always going to view you as his dad.”
Egoitz Bengoetxea / Shutterstock.com
Their advice was sound as this heartbroken man admitted he’d noticed his “wife’s son” becoming extremely depressed. “He’s just devastated… not talking to me and constantly apologizing. My plan was to divorce and cut contact with them right after, but now I’m wondering if I’m going too far by punishing him, too.”
After the news of his biological father was confirmed with a DNA test, the young man's depression grew more intense. He was struggling with the thought of potentially losing the only father he'd known for the past 18 years of his life.
Surely, this entire situation is not only heartbreaking, confusing, and overwhelming for this man but also for his young son. His entire life changed because of a mistake that his mother made before he was born.
Most commenters urged him to reconsider their relationship — ‘You are still father and son.’
“You and the child are both innocent. And both victims. An 18-year-long deception takes time for you both to process and contemplate. Divorcing your wife for deceiving you for so long does not take much time to assess. But you and your son are still exactly that, dad and son,” one person wrote, urging the man to reconsider his decision.
simonapilollatnf / Canva Pro
“Don’t hold it against your son that he has engaged with [his] biological dad as clearly this is another manipulation by the mother. Your son may technically be an adult at 18, but no 18-year-old is equipped to navigate this scenario. Especially without the love and guidance of the dad he has known for 18 years. Please consider investing 1 year on making any permanent, life- changing decisions about the two of you.”
At the end of the day, there’s no guidebook for how to navigate an intense life situation like this, but the advice of commenters provides one tip: lead with your heart.
Your son is still your son despite the changes happening in your marriage. The bond the pair shares can transcend any resentment, conflict, or discouragement that’s to come.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.