Woman Says Her Fiancé Refuses To Brush His Teeth & She’s Struggling To Be Intimate — ‘He’s Brushed 4 Times In 6 Years’
"This has been an ongoing thing. He doesn't even have a toothbrush."
Asier Romero / Shutterstock.com Many people have their own ideas about their health and how to maintain it. For some, that includes skipping daily habits that many would find impossible to forgo.
It’s exactly the situation one woman wrote about in a Reddit post, lamenting that her fiancé refuses to brush his teeth.
The woman admitted her fiancé won’t brush his teeth, and she’s growing disgusted.
"My fiancé WON’T BRUSH HIS [expletive] TEETH," the woman wrote. "This has been an ongoing thing — like he doesn’t even have a toothbrush. I have witnessed him brush his teeth maybe 4 times out [of our] ENTIRE 6-YEAR RELATIONSHIP."
The woman admitted she has reached her breaking point and is now "completely unattracted to him.”
His disregard for oral hygiene is not new, either. “Our first kiss, I did notice he had bad breath, but I thought it was just because he had dinner before," she revealed. "Then I found out.”
The couple also has two kids together. "I handle the kids’ teeth because I can’t trust that he would actually brush their teeth," she added.
While people online are divided on the consequences her fiancé would have after six years of not brushing his teeth, most focused on berating this woman — questioning how she could’ve gotten engaged, let alone had children, with someone lacking the ability to maintain basic personal hygiene.
“It has just gotten progressively worse to the point where he will sit on the couch and scrape his plaque off his teeth with the opening of a plastic water bottle," she admitted. "It gives me the biggest ick. And then he views me as the [jerk] for not wanting to make out with him.”
She continued her story, further shocking readers with the extent of the issue. “His childhood nickname (i.e., Jack is his name, and the nickname is Greg) I thought was odd," she wrote. "Later [I] find out that his family called him ‘Greg’ because they had a family friend who never brushed his teeth, and they all fell out/rotted out.”
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Concerned over his family’s inaction and the future of their relationship, the woman desperately asked readers for advice.
While she has tried to bring the issue up before, he admitted it was “the taste” that got him. However, even with new kinds of toothpaste and toothbrushes, he’s refused to pick up the habit and brush his teeth.
"He also refuses to go to the dentist," she added. "It’s getting to a point where I cannot be intimate with him."
“It feels like a super sensitive subject to bring up to him. How do I approach him/it gently? Or is this enough to be a dealbreaker?” she asked.
Some commenters were objectively rude and suggested she “force him” to engage in the habit. Others blamed her for choosing him as her partner, while others admitted he’s likely struggling or embarrassed by the concept at large.
At first glance, it’s almost impossible not to cringe at this woman’s story — imagine the plaque build-up, bad breath, and his incomprehensible lack of a toothbrush. However, there may be alternate reasons why this woman’s fiancé is hesitant to adopt the hygienic habit.
Considering he’s struggled with brushing his teeth for his entire life — enough to have adopted a nickname — it’s possible there’s an underlying sensory issue, mental block, or childhood trauma that he’s not willing or able to express to his fiancé. Many people with sensory issues admit brushing their teeth is especially challenging because of the stimulation it cultivates.
“Do some research on easy ways to implement brushing, comfortable ways to introduce the dentist, and then approach him," one user advised. "He’ll likely be hesitant at first, considering the way your first convo went, but just be honest about your attraction."
Whether it’s disposable toothbrushes, a different toothpaste, or mental health support, a conversation could spark change after six years of growing resentment.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.