Single Mom Films Herself Crying As She Makes Her Own Birthday Cupcakes So Her Kids Can Sing To Her
Birthdays aren't always happy occasions.
Bearfotos / Shutterstock.com When a single mother shared a vulnerable post on TikTok, getting honest about the reality of her birthday with young kids, commenters were sadly less than supportive.
“I’m so tired of hurting,” single mom Elizabeth shared in her video, alluding to the struggle of caring both for herself and her children alone. Despite her vulnerable post, seemingly with no ill intention, many commenters condemned her for simply filming.
A single mom filmed herself crying while making cupcakes for her birthday so that her kids could sing to her.
“Being a single mom is making your own birthday cake on your birthday so that your babies can feel happy they are singing to you,” she wrote in her original post.
This kind of sacrifice and emotional burden is typical in the lives of many single mothers, who focus on their children’s well-being and success while their own needs fall by the wayside.
Especially considering the daily struggles many single parents face without having additional care for their children — like work-life balance, lack of financial support, decision pressure, or emotional burdens — it’s moments like this that highlight the struggle and evoke powerful emotions that can often get lost in the hustle and bustle of life.
Despite this single mom’s vulnerability, critics attacked her, questioning ‘who cries’ in front of a camera.
While many single mothers on TikTok showcase the “grind,” proving they can parent just as well, if not better, on their own, it’s not as common for people to get vulnerable about what they struggle with. Many other videos on Elizabeth's account relayed a sentiment of heartbreak at becoming a single parent, which is not often seen.
“You need to really see and accept the situation,” she said in another video. Then you’ll be able to move forward.”
However, she also fully acknowledged that the freedom to grieve and reflect is secondary to caring for the kids, and that can result in built-up and unresolved emotions.
Of course, despite acknowledging all these burdens and barriers that single moms deal with, many commenters ignorantly criticized her, including one man commenting, “You would never last in man’s world.”
“Chill out! I’m married, and I never get a cake,” another wrote, clearly misinterpreting the true void this single mom is coming to terms with.
While many of the initial comments were crude or ignorant, other single moms have since come to her rescue, celebrating her hard word, acknowledging that moments like these are never easy, and motivating her to continue moving forward healthily.
Harmful stereotypes about single parents often isolate them from help.
From showing up at their children’s schools to sacrificing restful time at night to help with homework, single parents often sacrifice much more than their partnered peers to raise their children.
They’re always giving but never being celebrated, and that can wear a person down. We all need to feel special.
Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock.com
It’s this kind of unconscious forgetfulness for society to ignore single parents, or at the very least, forget to celebrate their accomplishments over a societal impulse towards “traditional” family values.
These traditional family values are ingrained into every aspect of our lives, from home ownership to taxes to loans — a married couple is almost always incentivized to a higher degree.
So, yes, it might look like this single mom is crying over cupcakes, upset she has to make her own. But a closer look at her page and other moms’ responses tells a different story. A little bit of empathy can go a long way. Don’t judge someone without putting yourself in their shoes.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.