Woman 'Pretended' To Go To Work For 2 Weeks Before Getting Fired For Ghosting — She Had 'Anxiety' Over Being Promoted
It is an unfortunate story of workplace anxiety that ultimately crumbled a couple's entire relationship.
byswat / Shutterstock.com Honesty and open communication are vital for any healthy relationship. So when one man learned of his fiancée's lies, he was understandably hurt and upset.
In the wake of his partner's deception, the man took to Reddit to ask for help navigating the unexpected and unfortunate situation.
His fiancée was fired for ‘ghosting’ her job for 2 weeks.
“She has been at her company for the past six years … We’ve been together for the past five years," he wrote. “Recently, she was chosen to be promoted to a position in a different department after someone was leaving the company … She was excited about the raise and getting promoted to a manager after years of wanting to be.”
However, as the start date of her new position came closer, she began struggling in silence. Her anxiety regarding her promotion became so severe that she began to ghost her job — and lied to her fiancé about it.
"She would go to work in the morning and return at the time that her normal shift would end. But, after she got fired, she wanted to talk to me, and she told me that she lied about going to work for the past two and a half weeks,” he explained.
When her employer inevitably fired her for “no call, no showing” for over two weeks, she couldn’t hide the truth from her fiancé any longer — especially with bills to pay, a wedding to plan, and their future unfolding in front of them. The reason behind her “ghosting” at work? Overwhelming anxiety.
After ‘pretending’ to go to work and lying to her fiancé, she finally admitted the true reason behind her termination.
If you’ve ever worked in a toxic workplace or even simply struggled to adapt to a new job, you’ve probably experienced a similar kind of anxiety. For some, it looks more tame — feeling anxious on the drive to work, struggling to take breaks, or even putting off meetings for fear of embarrassment, ridicule, or failure. However, for others, like this woman, the anxiety takes over, evoking a “flight response” that’s hard to combat.
When you’re experiencing these overwhelming feelings of anxiety, you may make excuses to leave early, cancel meetings at the last minute, or even overwork yourself at home to ensure less time in the office. Your body perceives that it’s in trouble or unsafe as a result of your anxious feelings and triggers this “flight” response to remove you from the situation.
It seems to be exactly what happened to this woman, as she anxiously awaited the upcoming responsibilities of her promotion, an event with public speaking, and even a “promotion party” that’d put all of her peers’ attention on her.
“When I asked her what happened, she said that her team wanted to throw her a small party to celebrate her promotion before she would leave. But, the party made her anxious because she ‘doesn't like to be celebrated’ because it's ‘embarrassing,’" the man wrote. "She also said that public speaking gave her anxiety."
So, instead of forcing herself to break the pattern of flight responses, she stopped showing up.
“She said that she'd often stay in her car on her phone or go to the gym or a friend's sometimes, and over the course of those two weeks, she ignored calls/emails from her job on her absences until she was fired after numerous warnings," he added. "She's since said that she wants to go to therapy to work on her anxiety before looking for a new job, and she asked if I could "cover the expenses" in the meantime.”
While this woman's story might seem absurd to some, it’s a humbling reminder for many who struggle with workplace anxiety.
Feeling betrayed, her fiancé refused to help cover expenses. From his perspective, she should've talked to him, been honest earlier, asked for help, or at least started to prepare financially before the inevitable firing.
“She said that I was ‘being unfair’ because she's planning to go to therapy,” he continued. “While I told her that therapy is good, I said I needed a break."
Unfortunately, she didn't take his need for a break well and continued her pattern of lies.
"When I called 2 days later and said I was done and wanted her to remove her belongings, she and her friend began posting that I ‘hit her’.” Not only that, but she called his work to report his “abuse” and told friends he “made fun of her” for seeking therapy. Coupled with her previous lies, he felt understandably betrayed — this was the person he was supposed to marry.
His story and her workplace experience are both reminders of the damage anxiety disorders can cause. People feel stuck in a “flight” response that seems impossible to break away from and that inevitably harms their relationships.
Anxiety experts suggest those struggling with this kind of overwhelming workplace anxiety adopt practices that help them to “slow down.” It’s important not to run away from any kind of discomfort in the workplace — as that often helps people to grow — but rather to take a few moments to settle your nervous system.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.