A Parent Told A Teacher To Stop 'Threatening' Her Child With Phone Calls Home
What she thought was a threat was really just a normal part of the education system.
fizkes / Shutterstock Being a teacher is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It’s certainly difficult enough without parents intentionally working against you.
That’s exactly what happened to one teacher, however, who said that her most problematic student’s mom was not on her side at all.
The mom instructed a teacher to stop telling her son that she would call home about his bad behavior.
A teacher posted on Reddit seeking advice after having a negative interaction with one of her student’s mothers.
“This year, I have a student who is new to the school, and he constantly needs to be the center of attention,” she stated. “Constantly cracking jokes, calling out, teasing other students. He is very popular, so he holds a lot of social power.”
“His mom is very hot and cold,” she continued. “Sometimes she can be super supportive; sometimes she acts like I am enemy number one.”
The teacher explained why this had been such a big problem as of late. “Recently, we had a lockdown, and [the] child was wildly disruptive and unsafe,” she shared. “We were locked down for an hour. There was an actual weapon in our building, and this kid did not care.”
After this concerning situation, the teacher’s relationship with the student’s mother got even worse.
“Mom texted asking for the principal’s contact information, and I gave it to her,” she said. “She then told me, ‘Don’t threaten my child with calling me.’”
The teacher explained what the mom meant when she instructed her not to "threaten" her son.
“Often, when her child acts up, I will say, ‘If X behavior doesn’t stop, we will need to call home,’ or I will say to my class, ‘Students who are doing Y should expect a call home today,’” she said.
“Is that a threat?” she asked, confused and concerned.
The teacher’s fellow Reddit users had plenty to say on the subject.
This teacher’s fellow Reddit users and teachers were confused as to why a parent would act in such a way, although they weren’t overly surprised.
“Tell them it wasn’t a threat, you were reminding them of the expectations of the classroom,” one said.
Another teacher recommended getting school administration involved. “I would let the principal know that you weren’t threatening the child. You were simply reminding the child of the consequences should their behavior continue. And [then] let the principal deal with it,” they said.
“If consequences of actions are given from the beginning, and someone commits an offense, reminding them of the consequence is not a threat; it’s a courtesy,” another said.
It’s perfectly acceptable for teachers to call parents of students.
According to Edutopia, it’s completely fine to call the parent or parents of a student if you’re a teacher. In fact, it’s even encouraged.
“Calling the parents can often be one of the most powerful and useful tools in your management tool kit,” they said.
It’s also understandable that parents may not be as receptive as one would hope to said phone calls.
“Compassion is key,” Edutopia wrote. “Doubtless, no parents planned to have children with discipline or learning problems. Parents, too, may be experiencing confusion, frustration, and dismay about the student’s behavior.”
It’s important for everyone to be understanding of each other in these difficult situations. Parents and teachers should strive to work together, not against each other.
Nevertheless, making phone calls to students’ homes is part of a teacher’s job. It’s normal for a teacher to get in contact with a student’s parents. Saying you may do so isn’t a threat. It’s simply part of the education system.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.