Husband Tells Wife She's 'Delusional' For Expecting A Birthday Celebration After She Spent Time With Friends Instead Of Completing A 'Household Responsibility'
There’s a clear line between pettiness and open manipulation — don’t ignore the latter.
Timur Weber / CanvaPro If you’ve lived in a rental property before, you know the benefit of having a maintenance person — if something breaks or you need a routine cleaning, it’s no sweat off your back. There's no charge and no labor involved!
For one couple, however, the convenience of a landlord-scheduled maintenance appointment was anything but beneficial.
Knowing that he would be on a week-long work trip, a husband made sure to discuss with his wife that she’d have to “stay put” for the weekend because "the landlord was sending over professionals to get the vents cleaned out.”
A man called his wife ‘delusional’ for expecting a birthday celebration after she went out with friends instead of completing a ‘crucial household responsibility.’
A husband turned to Reddit in frustration after his wife dropped the ball when he asked her to meet the maintenance crew at their rental. “The landlord was doing it free of charge, and if we were to [hire] professionals ourselves, we would have to pay a couple hundred dollars,” he added, saying the “crucial household chore” should have been her main concern with summer approaching.
While out of state, he assumed the duct cleaning went off without a hitch, but everything fell apart when he returned home. Not only did he realize that the air ducts weren’t cleaned, but he soon understood the reason why.
“When I returned, my wife said that she had been invited on a road trip by her girlfriends, and she couldn’t say 'no,'” he wrote. I was furious [at her].” As he continued to tell his version of the story and paint a clearer picture of their relationship dynamic, commenters, understandably, became critical.
Before going on his work trip, the man told his wife she needed to be home over the weekend to let in a maintenance crew.
“We both had agreed she would supervise things,” he wrote. “This was an important job to fix.”
While the job was clearly important, there were other options for getting it done that wouldn't ruin her plans, as well. The free cleaners would be back in a few weeks, and they had the option to hire professionals at a cost.
Nikola Stojadinovic / CanvaPro
Commenters also suggested talking with their landlord. “It’s the landlord’s responsibility to get it done … they should be able to come back or enter the apartment without anyone there, with permission.”
Instead of staying home, she decided to ‘go on a road trip’ with friends. Furious, this man told her she’d be paying for the professional cleaning they’d missed.
After learning that his wife accepted plans with friends instead of staying home for the maintenance crew, he was livid. “I wanted her to act like my partner for once. This caused an argument but no resolution, and she kicked me out of our bedroom.”
In addition to sparking an argument, he also told his wife she’d need to pay for professional cleaners from her “fun money” account—which she ultimately refused to do.
Working remotely, she had just spent a week alone and didn’t feel her choice to see friends was an irresponsible one. “This made me more mad than her refusal to pay in full or stay home. I felt emasculated for being kicked out,” he wrote.
Timur Weber / Canva Pro
In a pitiful game of back-and-forth, the man continued to plan ways to “get back” at his wife, who he seemed to think disobeyed his orders and made him feel “less of a man” for it.
“Her birthday was coming up," he explained. "I’d managed to score tickets to a musical theater performance in our city. She was looking forward to us going.” He admitted that he “disinvited” his wife from the performance on her birthday — telling her it was the “consequence” for what she did. “I instead extended an invite to my other friend … even on her birthday … she presented herself to me, almost as if she forgot what happened, thinking I wouldn’t go through with it.”
He actually wrote, “I was glad to know that she was miserable all day." And with what seemed like only a thimble full of remorse, asked, "Did I go too far?”
Commenters agreed the couple’s dynamic was toxic — ‘This man clearly does not like his wife or marriage.’
“I shrugged my shoulders and said she’s delusional for even thinking that. I left the house with her looking paler than ever. It was oddly satisfying.”
Commenters couldn't help but point out their sad dynamic. Devoid of empathy, care, and trust, their marriage seemed unhealthy.
YuriArcus / CanvaPro
“This sounds like two teenagers who decided to play house and are trying to just one-up each other with cruelty,” one person wrote. “Adults legitimately don't act like this. I understand [his] reasoning, but he gave into pettiness and tried to punish her without giving consequences related to the actual issue.”
What could’ve been resolved with an empathetic conversation spiraled into a revenge-centered feud. “She screamed at me for ruining a birthday over a few hundred dollars,” he wrote, finishing his post. “She says she can never forgive me … but how can she expect me to be nice to her?”
Clearly, there’s more to this story than a cleaning request — some deep-rooted issues in their marriage need to be addressed. Manipulation, revenge, and mistrust should never be the hallmarks of a relationship. You shouldn’t have to fear the “consequences” of anything from a partner you’re supposed to feel safe with.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.