Woman Tries To Surprise Her Boyfriend With A Night Of Romance & He Turns Her Down For Video Games — 'I Feel Unwanted, Unimportant, And Ugly'
While some sympathized with her, others believe she overreacted, highlighting the importance of respecting boundaries.
AlessandroBiascioli and phM2019 / Shutterstock When a woman dolled herself up and dressed in a provocative outfit to surprise her boyfriend, she was not expecting him to reject her. Unfortunately, he later claimed that he was in the middle of a gaming tournament and could not be distracted — leaving her feeling “unwanted, unimportant and ugly.”
The woman’s boyfriend turned down her surprise night of romance so he could play video games.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/AmIOverreacting, the woman revealed that she decided to surprise her boyfriend one night with a romantic night they could spend together. She bought a new set of lingerie for the occasion to set the mood. However, when she approached her boyfriend, who was sitting in front of the TV playing video games, and tapped him on the shoulder, he simply told her that he was in the middle of a video game tournament and brushed her off.
“He kept playing the game and told me it was my fault for coming to him during a tournament,” the woman wrote.
Photo: aslysun / Shutterstock
The experience left her grappling with mixed emotions and self-doubt.
“I feel unwanted, unimportant, and ugly,” she admitted. “My self-esteem has tanked to the point where I don’t even want to be unclothed around him.”
However, the woman’s boyfriend believes that she is overreacting and that he was in the middle of something important when she surprised him, prompting her to ask others if she truly is making a mountain out of a molehill.
Despite the woman’s insecurities, most people pointed out that she could not force her boyfriend to give her attention while he was occupied with something else.
“You don't get to decide when your partner wants sex. You're very much overreacting,” one Redditor commented.
“He was in a tournament. Maybe read a room and know when to pull a move like that,” another user wrote.
“You sabotaged yourself. He was busy and you wanted him to just drop everything for you. That's nice when it happens in romcoms, but it's rarely the reality of life,” another user noted.
Most people believed that the woman could not force her boyfriend to be intimate with her just because she felt like it despite him being in the middle of a game.
“What if the roles were reversed and you did not want to have sex with him? How would you want him to react?” one user commented.
“Whether it’s video games, a stomach ache, a headache, tiredness, or really just any reason at all - people should have the agency to refuse sex if they want to.”
However, other people advised the woman that if lack of intimacy was a persistent issue in their relationship overall, it might be worth discussing.
Research has shown that a lack of intimacy in relationships can lead to a lack of communication, emotional distance, and resentment between romantic partners.
Some people may feel unwanted or unvalued by their partners if they are never the ones initiating intimacy, which can blow their self-esteem. However, just because you feel like the spark has dimmed in your relationship, that does not mean that it is entirely gone. It can be brought back to life.
Have open conversations with your partner about how you can improve intimacy, such as going away for the weekend and setting aside quality time for each other. Remind each other of just how much you care for one another, offer compliments, and attempt to form a deeper connection.
Seek professional help if you believe that it is what it needed for your relationship.
That said, you should never pressure your partner into being intimate, especially if they are preoccupied with something else. The best time to initiate it may not be when they are on the phone with their friends, are preparing dinner, or simply have a long day and feel wiped.
Respecting your partner's boundaries creates a safe space for both partners to express their needs and concerns without fear of judgment or pressure, which in turn could improve their intimate life overall.
While the woman may have felt worthless after her boyfriend’s rejection, it was likely not his intention to evoke those emotions. He was simply distracted by something else and could not take notice of his girlfriend at that exact moment.
If the woman wanted her boyfriend’s attention, she may have had more luck seeking it when he was not preoccupied with a gaming tournament.
In many relationships with men, it's widely understood that not even an earthquake could distract most of them from their gaming systems!
The woman and her boyfriend should work together to carve out time for intimacy and quality time.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.