Trial Attorney Explains How To Stand Up For Yourself
Standing your ground doesn't have to be painful.
Jihan Nafiaa Zahri / Shutterstock Standing your ground is never easy; it's actually pretty scary because we don't want to come off as rude or insensitive.
But if we want to be confident and not let bad behavior slide, we need to learn how to take a stance. So, how do we do that? Trial attorney Jefferson Fisher offers great advice, recently sharing the three best ways to stand up for yourself.
How To Stand Up For Yourself
1. Know how to pick the right time.
"The first thing to know about standing up for yourself is knowing when to do it," says Fisher. Not all comments need a response or are worth your time.
Though difficult, realizing that your worth is not tied to someone else's opinion is key to not letting minor comments affect you.
2. Eliminate apologies and conditional language before stating your opinion.
"Do not apologize or invalidate your own boundaries," says Fisher. As someone with a habit of apologizing for everything, I understand that this is easier said than done.
But using apologetic language downplays our feelings and puts the other person's comfort first. So, tell them how you feel in an affirmative tone with no apologies given.
3. Get In the habit of saying no without justifying it.
Have you ever been invited somewhere you didn't feel comfortable going? Scrambling you look for an excuse to make.
"If you start justifying and telling your position, well now they're gonna start defending against your justification rather than coming up with a better solution," says Fisher.
So, if you don't feel comfortable simply say no. If the person respects you, they'll be willing to meet you halfway to find a fair solution.
This all sounds great, but how do I actually gain the confidence to stand my ground and say these words? If you're looking to build that confidence, consider these things.
"Learning to be kind to yourself is the first step towards self-confidence," says the NHS. “Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.”
Imagine if you were always beating yourself down. Every time you try something new or set a goal, the voice in your head would naturally say you aren't good enough. Eventually, this would wear down your self-confidence, making you feel smaller and less sure of yourself.
If you struggle with this, start talking to yourself as if you were a friend. Think about what you would or wouldn't say to them and the advice you might offer and then follow it.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.