17-Year-Old Refuses To Acknowledge His New Half-Brother As His Sibling After Being Mistreated By His Father
He'd carried the burden of "parenting" too many times for a 17-year-old.
Sevendeman, Pixelshot / CanvaPro Toxic family dynamics can make deep cuts on families for decades — leaving children with inescapable trauma and parents with unstable and unfortunate relationships. For one 17-year-old boy on Reddit, his relationship with his father has been nothing short of that for years.
“I never forgave him for what he put me through,” he wrote in a post to the AITA forum. “He’s a failure as a husband and a father.”
When his father decided to “clean up” his act after years of failing him and his younger siblings, the young man wanted nothing to do with him. Raising and taking on the burden of his younger siblings was enough. It was time for him to move out and move on with his life. He wouldn’t be sticking around to raise another of his father’s children.
The 17-year-old teen refused to acknowledge his newborn half-brother after years of mistreatment from his father.
“My dad and I do not have a good relationship,” he started in his post. “When my mom was sick with cancer, my dad was out cheating on her and left me to care for my younger siblings. He even let me catch him with two different women … my mom was in hospice.”
Not only did he bear the responsibility of caring for his siblings, but he also carried the burden of his mother’s physical and emotional health, choosing not to expose his father’s cheating for fear it would progress his mother’s illness.
“I was so overwhelmed and scared that saying the wrong thing would take her from us sooner. This was four years ago, and I never forgave him.” His father, who should’ve been there to support his children while their mother passed, was out with other women, looking to start a new life while theirs erupted in flames.
While his mom struggled with cancer, his father was cheating on her and relying on his son to take care of his younger brothers.
“He also said that he loved my mom and never wanted me to say he was all bad … I found it so hard to believe, and he would never convince me he actually loved her.”
After their mother passed away, he continued to take care of his younger siblings. He was forced to put his own grieving on hold to ensure the safety, health, and happiness of his young brother and sister.
Photo: kate_sept2004 / CanvaPro
“My siblings started to pick up some skills, so I wasn’t basically doing it all. It really helped and made us regular siblings again instead of me being almost a dad. But it was also tough because they’re really young, and I hated that they were forced to grow up so fast.”
After his mom passed away, he felt like a 'dad’ to his brothers. Meanwhile, his father married and moved another woman into their home.
While he tried to set up his siblings for success after their mother passed, their father continued to find solace in different women. He eventually “[settled] down” with one. “He met someone a couple of years ago, and he introduced her to us last year,” he continued. “It only took a few weeks for her to move in.”
“Suddenly, she’s pregnant, and they race to get married.” He acknowledged that his “dad’s wife” tried to involve him and his siblings in their marriage and pregnancy as best as she could, but none of them were enthusiastic about it.
Now that they’ve had a baby together, his ‘stepmom’ frequently asks him for help. However, he refuses, telling her to ask his father for help if she needs it.
“The baby was born in December, and she’s been reaching out to me to help pretty often,” he wrote. “But I don’t help her. I check in on my siblings, but have never even held her baby.”
With a bitter remembrance of his own childhood, he said he spends most of his time at work, school, or helping his younger siblings. The last thing on his mind is helping his step-brother, who’s again being failed by his father's absence.
Photo: pixelshot / Canva Pro
“I told her it wasn’t my job to help and to get her husband to help if she needed it. She told me she wanted her baby to be accepted … that none of us had interacted with the baby yet. She said it’s not fair, and she needs help.”
Commenters wholeheartedly supported the young man in his choice not to help with this newborn. They urged him to separate his finances from his father and to prioritize his mental health. Others suggested that his stepmom was "sold the vision of a perfect family,” where he helped with parenting and his father did whatever he wanted.
“Tell her that you’ve already raised two of your father’s children and you don’t plan on doing it again,” one person wrote. “You’re not doing anything wrong by separating yourself from them.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.