Man Kicks His Girlfriend Out Of Their Apartment For Asking For More Time To Think About His Marriage Proposal
Successful relationships require hard conversations.
Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels There are often points in a partnership where the couple feels out of sync with each other. There are many underlying reasons why someone might seem less connected than usual with their partner, whether it’s work stress, emotional burnout, or just feeling low in general.
Long-term relationships ebb and flow. It’s unrealistic to expect everything to be amazing all the time.
A major part of maintaining a stable and successful relationship is talking through issues and letting your partner know when you feel hurt, even when those conversations are difficult.
A man kicked his girlfriend out of the apartment after she asked for more time to think about his marriage proposal.
The 27-year-old man took to Reddit, wondering if he was wrong for how he reacted when his 26-year-old girlfriend didn’t immediately accept his wedding proposal.
He explained that they’d been together for four years, making them fairly young when they met: 23 and 22, respectively. He shared that they talked about getting married: “We made plans for the future, how many kids we wanted. My girlfriend was always extremely excited about it.”
Photo: Marcus Silva / Pexels
“Over the last few months, I was giving her consistent hints that I was going to propose to her,” he said. The man booked a vacation at a resort, where he planned to propose in a private place.
The man’s proposal didn’t get the reaction he expected: His girlfriend “somehow seemed shocked about it and asked if she could have a few more months” to decide. He said he felt “completely stunned,” sharing that it was “one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life.”
“My girlfriend kept apologizing, saying she just needed to be in the right mental space and that right then, she wasn’t,” he said. “She cried and promised me that we were technically engaged; she just needed a few more months to officially accept the proposal.”
Photo: Prostock-studio / Canva Pro
“I felt empty, sad, [and] embarrassed,” the man said. “I could not talk about it with any of my friends or even my parents.”
Feeling heartbroken, the man turned to his siblings for guidance.
His brother told him that his girlfriend probably had cold feet and “to just give her time because she seemed like a genuine person.”
But the man’s sister had a different idea about why his girlfriend didn’t say yes to his wedding proposal.
His sister said that his girlfriend’s behavior was “girl code for cheating and that my girlfriend was probably ashamed about accepting my proposal, given that she most likely was having an affair.”
“My sister told me that my girlfriend would probably call off the affair in the next couple of months, after which she would be comfortable accepting the proposal,” he explained. “The more I thought about it, the more what my sister said made logical sense, and that just shattered my heart even more.”
The man took action: Instead of going to his girlfriend to talk everything out, he broke up with her and kicked her out of their shared apartment.
“I told her we were done and that she had a couple of hours to pack up and leave. I gave her no heads-up about it. I gave no reasons,” he said, as though he were proud of it.
His girlfriend was, of course, shocked and asked for an explanation, which he didn’t give, saying, “I just didn’t trust her anymore.”
“She obviously cried, but I was over it,” he said. The girlfriend asked a friend to pick her up, after which the man blocked her number.
“I am still suffering a lot, and it will take a lot of time to heal through this,” he concluded, without any acknowledgment of how his impulsive decision might have caused his girlfriend pain, too.
The man offered a lengthy update on his original post, saying, “I am still replaying that day.”
“I put my heart and soul into the relationship,” he continued. “I confided in her my childhood trauma issues because I felt connected to her and thought we were soulmates.”
He said that they planned their life together, considering which state they would live in, discussing finances, how many kids they might want, and “what life would [be] like 10, 20, 30 years from now.”
“She even told me what kind of ring she wanted,” he said.
Photo: Ana Daza / Pexels
“After I was rejected, I just did not understand what happened,” he said. “I was completely shattered... The affair was the only possible reason why she would not accept my proposal now but accept it months later.”
He explained the convoluted logic of why he believed she’d had an affair, saying, “She sometimes used to work late after hours, and I never questioned it because I trusted her. All the late night work hours, all those friend trips, the truth was right in front of my eyes, but I was blinded by love.”
“What other choice did I have but to kick her out?” he asked, seemingly rhetorically. The reality is that there were many options for the next steps, including a conversation or at least asking if she’d actually had an affair.
He chose to make a swift and final decision he couldn’t take back without thinking through the repercussions of ending a 4-year relationship.
The comments section did not hold back. The people sharing their opinions ripped apart the broken-hearted man’s lack of logic.
“I have NEVER heard of that being girl code for cheating,” one person said. “Maybe [it] is just your sister's code for cheating.”
They reprimanded him for not going to his girlfriend directly, saying, “You should have discussed your suspicions with her instead of running with wild assumptions and overreacting.”
“Creating a scenario in your head is NOT proof,” a different person said.
Someone else wondered if the man had asked his girlfriend why she felt like she needed time and if he’d offered to help her figure out her feelings, declaring, “Of course not, because you jumped to the worst possible conclusion and believed your sister’s hypothetical cheating story rather than actually sit down with your girlfriend and have an adult conversation.”
Still, another person pointed out why he was so very wrong, saying, “Not only did you not communicate with her about her feelings on the proposal, you kicked her out without giving her a warning to find a new place.”
It’s entirely valid to wait to say "yes" to a proposal, especially for someone in their early 20s, who might not be ready to get married quite yet.
Not wanting to be engaged doesn’t automatically signal the end of a relationship unless you’re a particular brand of careless like this man seems to be.
While he’s certainly allowed to feel his feelings, he seems unable to recognize that his own actions led to the heartbreak he felt so intensely. His ex-girlfriend deserved someone who would have talked through the hard parts.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.