A Dad Says His Wife Is 'Overreacting' After She Finds Out A 25-Year-Old Babysitter Accompanies Him Every Time He Watches Their Kids
The incident serves as a reminder to trust one's instincts and address concerns in a relationship.
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock A woman began to grow suspicious of her husband after she learned that he had company every time he spent time with their children.
The woman learned that a 25-year-old female babysitter accompanied her husband when he looked after their kids.
Sharing her story on the subreddit r/relationship_advice, the 35-year-old mom revealed that she and her husband have two sons together, ages 11 and 8.
“I recently got my hours switched, so I’m working afternoons," the woman shared. Most days, her in-laws watch their children after school, "but two days out of the school week my husband goes to work early so he can get out early and be home with [the kids],” the woman wrote.
On these days, her husband takes their kids out to do something fun, like going to the park, playing football, or hiking. The children always report having a great time with their dad and their friend Oliver, who frequently joins them.
“I just assumed that either Oliver’s parents were coming or my husband was watching all three of them,” the woman wrote. She was shocked to learn that wasn't the case.
“Today, I was looking through some photos my older son took and saw the same woman in a lot of them, talking to my husband,” she said. When the mom asked her son who the woman in the photos was, he claimed that she was Oliver’s 25-year-old babysitter, who usually accompanied them on their outings.
The woman decided to ask her husband about the babysitter.
“When I asked my husband why he didn’t tell me about it he seemed genuinely confused and asked me who I thought was coming along," she wrote. When she mentioned the babysitter, her husband simply shrugged and admitted that, yes, she had been joining them.
“I asked for clarification on how often, and he was like, ‘Well, basically every time Oliver comes with us somewhere,’” she added.
Still, the woman felt uneasy that her husband never mentioned the babysitter. She grew even more suspicious after her sons disclosed certain details about their father and the babysitter’s interactions together.
“They don’t say much about her other than ‘she and dad talk a lot,’ and one of my sons talks about how she has ‘pretty hands,’” the woman shared.
When she confronted her husband about the way he allegedly talked with the babysitter, the woman said that he grew annoyed. He acted surprised that she didn't know about the babysitter's presence and questioned what she expected him to do when Oliver joined them.
Photo: Jan Faukner / Shutterstock
"I don’t know if he’s being genuine or just wants to act like it’s not a big deal, so I don’t act like it’s a big deal," she wrote. "I told him that was fine but I just wanted to know about it, and he answered that he didn’t get bothered when the boys had playdates and the dads would come over and it would just be me or them.”
After her husband brought up the double standard, the woman could not help but wonder if her suspicions were irrational.
Most people online assured the woman that her feelings were valid but not to jump to conclusions.
“You’re warranted to be upset. This is a woman you don’t know about that’s going with them when they had fun times, twice a week,” one Redditor commented. “It could really be nothing, unless you noticed there’s a change in his daily habits, like always on the phone, being secretive on his phone usage, etc.”
“Give him the benefit of the doubt, but be cautious,” another user advised.
Unfortunately, the woman’s suspicions turned out to be correct.
Eventually, the woman learned that her husband had a massive crush on the babysitter.
In a follow-up post, the mom revealed that one night, she overheard her husband talking to a friend in his at-home office.
“I overheard him saying how he thinks he’s all good now, he thinks ‘she’s dropped it,’” the woman wrote. “I know it was nothing damning but between the situation of him not telling me about the babysitter and then this I had my suspicions way up.”
The following day, the woman went through her husband’s phone in search of any scandalous messages between himself and the babysitter. While the only messages she discovered between the two were discussing the children — she assumes the rest were deleted — she did come across some disturbing messages about the babysitter from her husband to his brother-in-law.
Photo: Dragana Gordic / Shutterstock
“My husband absolutely gushes about her, like an obsessed little boy,” the woman reported. “He says how funny and amazing she is, how beautiful her eyes are, how much he loves her laugh.”
“There’s one point where he says that he thinks one of our sons has a crush on her, and his brother replied something along the lines of can’t imagine where he gets that from, it must run in the family,” she continued.
The woman admitted that she was “absolutely crushed” by her husband’s actions, and his dismissal of her suspicions turned out to be correct.
In a follow-up post, the woman revealed that she confronted her husband at the park with the babysitter.
"I got out of work early and went to the park, and they were there," she wrote in the since-deleted Reddit post. "When I got there I saw she was wearing one of my husband's hoodies and that’s when I basically knew everything I thought was confirmed."
"It honestly made me sick seeing how familiar she was with my husband and my kids when I didn’t even know who she was," she continued. "I watched them for a minute and then I saw my husband put his hand around her waist literally right there in front of our kids and I saw red."
She confronted her husband, and after some back and forth — and some failed justification and denial on his part — she learned that not only did he have feelings for the babysitter, but the pair had kissed.
This story's unfortunate ending serves as an example of why you should always trust your gut, especially if it’s nagging you that something is wrong. If you suspect that your partner may be being unfaithful, consider confronting them about it. Your intuition may very well be correct.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.