After Her Parents Pierced Her Baby's Ears Without Her Permission, Daughter Insists Her Parents Pierce Their Noses
These grandparents ignored boundaries and consent to do what they wanted.
didifoto / Shutterstock Boundaries and consent are two very important things. But, what happens when someone is too young to enforce them?
One set of parents thought they had explained boundaries for their child thoroughly, but were left reeling when her grandparents violated them.
A 1-year-old’s grandparents had her ears pierced without her parents' permission.
A woman explained on Reddit the shocking way her parents overstepped while caring for her daughter.
She said she lives in the U.S. along with her husband and daughter. Meanwhile, her parents live in Mexico but they frequently travel to visit them.
“My mom and dad got my daughter earrings for her birthday,” she said. “My daughter’s ears are not pierced … I told them that I would save them for her until she was old enough to get her ears pierced.”
Unfortunately, her parents had other plans for their granddaughter.
“We left my daughter with my parents while we went to meet up with some friends,” she stated. “When we went to pick up my daughter, my mom showed us that we didn’t need to wait because they had taken her to get her ears pierced.”
The woman and her husband understandably did not react well to this. “I am furious,” she said. “My husband said that my parents are not allowed to spend time alone with my daughter ever again … We checked out three days early and went home.”
As she and her husband traveled home, the woman’s parents continuously tried to get in touch with her. However, they wanted some space. Then, once she had calmed down some, she contacted them.
“I finally called them,” she said. “I asked them not to speak until I was done talking. I told them that my husband and I were upset with them for getting our baby’s ears pierced without our permission. I told them that we went back home and probably wouldn’t be visiting for a while.”
Her parents could not understand why she was so upset, especially since she got her own ears pierced as a baby. They have recruited other family members to call their daughter and son-in-law and try to change their minds as well.
So, the woman and her husband had an idea. “We came up with a compromise,” she said. “We agreed that we would resume visits, but not alone time with them if they both got their noses pierced.”
“They said that we are being stupid and that they are not going to do that,” she continued. “I said no problem and hung up.”
While you can pierce a baby’s ears very early, many experts recommend that you wait.
According to WebMD, there is no specific guideline for when a child’s ears can be pierced. However, many pediatricians suggest waiting until at least 3 months old.
According to Parents Magazine, making sure your child is ready to get their ears pierced should be the deciding factor.
“Getting your ears pierced is a very personal decision, one which cannot and should not be taken lightly. Not only are [there] potential risks to this procedure, but it is also a matter of consent,” the outlet noted. “Many physicians and piercing experts agree: Children should not be pierced before they are ready. This means infant and toddler piercing should be avoided, as they cannot decide if this is something they want.”
While people hold differing opinions about piercing the ears of babies and young children, experts seem to agree that it isn’t the best idea. After all, these children are too young to consent to the piercing.
Furthermore, when this baby’s ears were pierced, her parents weren’t even there to decide for her, although they had already made their views on the matter clear. These grandparents need to understand that they crossed a line. Getting their noses pierced in return would only be right.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.