16 Kinds Of People To Keep At A Distance No Matter How Close You Feel To Them
These types of people will only drain your energy and impact your self-worth.
Jacob Lund / Shutterstock It can be hard to pinpoint the people in your life who are probably not the best to have around and potentially make you feel worse about yourself whenever you're in their company.
Navigating the complex balance between compassion and self-preservation can be difficult but at the end of the day, it's equally important to safeguard your emotions and put yourself first when you realize that sometimes the people you think have good intentions, don't.
In an Instagram slideshow, a motivation and personal growth page, @goodmindsquote, shared the exact types of people that we should be wary of allowing into our space.
Here are the 16 kinds of people to keep at a distance no matter how close you feel to them:
1. 'The people who use you either emotionally or financially'
No one likes having a taker in their lives. The people who suck everything they need from you without giving anything back in return. Allowing someone to exploit you, whether it's emotionally, financially, or both, does nothing but send a message that your boundaries are not important, and you are not worthy of respect.
Emotional exploitation can take a myriad of forms, including leaning on you for support without allowing you to do the same with them, manipulating your feelings to make themselves feel good, or not meeting your emotional needs, whether it's in a platonic or romantic relationship. Similarly, financial exploitation will only serve to hurt you when someone is constantly borrowing money or asking for help paying for certain things, without taking into consideration your expenses or needs.
By cutting these people out of your life, you're sending the message that you deserve to be treated better and are worthy of relationships that benefit and serve you in the way that you serve them.
2. 'People who are quick to celebrate your success publicly but are noticeably absent or indifferent when you face challenges or setbacks'
This type of behavior is simply conditional and dependent on how well you are doing in life. To glory and bask in your achievements, but not show up for you during the difficult times of life shows that their support only lies in your success.
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People who truly care are there for the ups and downs, and being absent during the moments when you need support and compassion suggests that there is a serious lack of empathy and genuine care in how they see you. It can also be that those types of people only care about your success because of how it makes them look, including how it affects their social status or boosts their careers.
3. 'The people who come barging our doors with all pretentious love and care'
These expressions are seen as insincere and individuals who do this are seemingly more concerned about keeping up appearances than actually trying to help or be someone you can rely on. People who come in with pretentious and fake displays of care have only one agenda in mind — to exploit your emotions for their own gain.
The only people these individuals care about are themselves, and it's best to protect yourself against their harmful tactics. While these people's intentions may seem kindhearted at first, upon a closer look, it becomes clear that their motives only involve themselves, and as soon as you notice that, don't hesitate to distance yourself completely.
4. 'Individuals who seem friendly but harbor pent-up grievances, waiting for the perfect moment to explode with complaints and criticisms'
In any relationship, the best way to move past conflicts is to simply address them head-on, instead of taking the passive-aggressive route. People who wait to air their grievances don't have any trust that the other person will understand where they're coming from or handle criticism. It also puts that other person on edge, constantly waiting for an individual to explode and drop the "nice guy" act.
5. 'The people who are all about giving and taking in all of their social dealings'
Dealing with anyone who does this can often make it seem as if the relationship is solely transactional. Every gesture or favor comes at a cost, and that's exhausting. No one should ever be in a relationship, whether it's romantic or platonic, and feel as if they have to read into everything that the other person does because it's a debt that needs to be repaid.
6. 'Those who pretend to be on your side while secretly working to undermine your efforts, sabotaging your progress for their benefit'
When someone pretends to support you, but secretly wants you to fail, they're not only betraying your trust but also seeking to manipulate you and your vulnerability. Genuine relationships are built with people who don't act jealous when you succeed, or cross their fingers to hope you don't get that promotion or any other achievement.
A person trying to sabotage you behind your back will only bring more fear into your life, and force you to navigate their hidden agendas, which can damper your own confidence and lead to anxiety and stress. That's no way to live, and it's not a relationship that you should ever stay in.
7. 'The cactus is the jealous lot in our lives and is incredibly toxic'
There should be no room for jealousy in any of your relationships, especially when it comes to friendships. Jealous people often do nefarious and harmful things to supplement the fact that they are envious of what you have and the success that you wield.
They are waiting for any opportunity to pull the rug out from underneath you and knock you down a peg so that they can feel better about themselves. Remember, a jealous person only hates what they don't have, and their jealousy is simply a reflection of who they are. They are insecure and don't believe in their own abilities, so they work to make sure you won't either. Don't let them win.
8. 'Individuals who are solely focused on their needs and desires, consistently taking without considering the impact on others'
No one wants to be around a selfish person.
It doesn't take much to realize how their actions will affect others, and you shouldn't have to be caught in the crossfire while they figure out the meaning of empathy and understanding. You should never have to cater to someone else's needs and desires without knowing if that feeling will be reciprocated. It's emotionally draining and no relationship should be built on self-centeredness and ulterior motives.
9. 'The people to whom you are merely a tool or a puppet in their hands'
You should never feel as if you're being used in any relationship you're in. When someone only views you as a means to an end, they will not hesitate to exploit you for their personal gain without considering your feelings at all.
Being treated as disposable does nothing good for your self-esteem or confidence.
10. 'People who always position themselves as victims, using their perceived misfortune to gain sympathy and manipulate those around them'
Sometimes misfortune does happen that is out of our control, and in those cases, there's nothing wrong with seeking sympathy or support from those closest to us. However, consistently doing it without taking accountability and instead leaning into the victim role because you are aware of the luxuries it grants you is not sustainable.
No one should ever feel inclined to support those who refuse to take accountability for their actions. Especially if they are using the victim role to their advantage. Those types of relationships are incredibly toxic and exhausting to be a part of.
11. 'The sympathy addicts are the reservoir of drama and conflict'
People who seek sympathy from others just for validation purposes often drain the energy of those around them to benefit their needs. They guilt-trip, manipulate, and play the victim whenever it benefits them. They exaggerate personal conflicts because they thrive off of attention and using others.
It's important to set boundaries with these people and surround yourself with those who don't just play up the victim role because of how it benefits them.
12. 'Those who shower you with insincere compliments and praise, often to gain favor or advantage rather than genuine admiration'
These types of people only do things for the benefit of themselves. They are incredibly superficial and shallow and have hidden agendas where they take all of the success that you have gained and try to spin it in their favor. Nothing is redeeming about using others to further your own life and career.
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Relying on insincere compliments proves that these people don't care about your achievements, and are only trying to say the words they believe you want to hear in order to make sure they can gain something from whatever you're doing in life.
13. 'People who use smooth words and charm to manipulate situations and people, masking their true intentions behind a façade of friendliness'
People like this often hide their true intentions until they serve their own agendas and plans. They may use things like flattery, persuasion, or any other emotionally manipulative tactics to make sure that they come out on top.
There's nothing positive about having people like this in your life, and they will only further exploit your vulnerabilities and secrets, leaving you feeling powerless and emotionally drained.
14. 'People who habitually criticize and judge others, often projecting their insecurities onto those around them to feel a false sense of superiority'
No one is perfect, and no one expects anyone to be perfect. Constantly criticizing others and passing judgment just because you don't feel as if your life is perfect is not only unfair but creates a toxic atmosphere. People use this as a means to deflect their wrongdoings, and instead of working through that trauma and shedding those insecurities, they choose to look at what others are doing.
15. 'Those who befriend you only for social status or connections, treating relationships as a means to climb the social ladder'
In the digital age that we're living in right now, the amount of followers one has on social media can mean a lot to others. They don't care about forming long-lasting and healthy relationships but rather forming relationships that will help them in their careers.
Being friends with anyone who tries to exploit you for personal gain can only diminish your self-worth and make you wary of others who approach you, thinking that they only want the same thing and hindering your ability to form genuine connections with people.
16. 'Individuals who express their dissatisfaction indirectly, using passive-aggressive behavior to convey their displeasure without open confrontation'
Problems will never be fixed and issues can never get resolved unless people use open communication in their relationships. We can all fall victim to passive-aggressive behavior, whether we mean to or not. It could stem from being afraid of confrontation, or not wanting to rock the boat, but by continuing to brush things under the rug, we can never grow as people and mend relationships.
Similarly, dealing with passive-aggressiveness can be draining and lead to confusion as you try to sift through what that individual is saying and the true meaning behind their unhappiness.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.