Bride & Groom Ask Wedding Guests To Pay A Dining Fee For Their Reception When They RSVP In Lieu Of Gifts
Some called it tacky, but others applauded them for prioritizing the experience over material things.
DGLimages / Shutterstock.com One thing about weddings? Absolutely everyone has an opinion about how they should and should not be done, and one couple's nuptials have sharply divided the internet after their invitation went viral for what some say are all the wrong reasons.
The bride and groom asked wedding guests to pay a dining fee for their reception 'in lieu of traditional gifts.'
The costs of planning a wedding have become almost absurdly staggering, and it's only gotten worse with the inflation we've experienced in recent years. A survey found that 77% of wedding vendors upped their prices in 2023, and the average price of a wedding went up $1000 since 2022.
A grand may not seem like much but remember that's just the average, which means for many brides and grooms it's gone up significantly more.
Perhaps that's what motivated this couple to take an unexpected approach to their wedding by sharing the costs with their guests.
The couple asked guests to pay $40 per adult for their reception because their 'presence is the most meaningful gift.'
Along with the usual details, the couple wrote on their invitation that their guests' attendance "means the world" to them, and so “in lieu of traditional gifts, we kindly request that you contribute towards the cost of our reception buffet."
The cost was listed as $40 per adult and $20 per child under 12, and the couple requested attendees pay upon RSVPing.
Photo: Facebook
The couple closed by reiterating that the event means far more to them than the usual vases and place settings people typically buy as wedding gifts.
"Your presence at our wedding is the most meaningful gift we could ask for," they wrote, "and we are truly grateful for your love and support as we embark on this new chapter of our lives together."
Many found the move 'tacky' and 'offensive' and scolded the couple for having a wedding they can't afford.
The invitation was first posted to the private Facebook group, "That's It I'm Wedding Shaming" by someone who is presumably an invitee, along with the caption, "No, no, no, no, no, and no." So you can probably imagine how it went from there.
It quickly hit X, where the response was sharply divided.
"This is just tacky," one person wrote. "If you can’t afford the full reception, scale back or don’t have a reception. Or, invite less guests so you can afford it."
"Tacky" seemed to be the word of choice for many. "Very tacky," another person wrote, "but this is what the world of manners has come to in this day and age." (Oh brother.) "There is no universe in which this isn’t tacky and offensive," yet another outraged person tweeted.
But others cheered the couple for prioritizing togetherness over material things, especially in today's economy.
Here's the thing: is this move tacky and offensive, or is it just non-traditional? Many people simply write a check as a wedding gift anyway, so in the end is there really that much of a difference?
In fact, it seems that wedding gifts have long since fallen out of favor. Several wedding planners across the country told the New York Times back in 2015 that the millennial brides and grooms they'd been working with overwhelmingly preferred cash. Some didn't even have a gift table.
That's partly due to economic woes, but also because of the way people are delaying marriage until their 30s. People that age typically have their household supplies taken care of already and don't need place settings and towel sets as wedding gifts.
And nowadays, with expensive as everything is? Forty bucks to attend a wedding is a bargain. As anyone who's been to a wedding knows, $40 is typically well below what you end up spending on a wedding gift.
"They're basically saving their guests money given how expensive wedding gifts are," journalist Imani Gandy wrote of the couple on X, and scores of people agreed, with many also pointing out that in many parts of the world, arrangements like this are actually customary.
And as far as valuing the experience of togetherness over presents? Scientific studies like one from the University of Colorado have long shown that experiences make us far happier than material things, because they are more meaningful and our mental interpretations of them tend to grow more positive over time.
Photo: Andrey Sayfutdinov / Shutterstock
Asking wedding guests to pay a dining fee for your wedding reception is certainly not orthodox here in America, but aren't we all sick and tired of materialism nowadays anyway?
Perhaps this is an idea whose time has come.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.