7 Phrases To Say To Your Inner Child Each Day To Overcome Your Difficult Upbringing
We all deserve the space to heal.
Joshua Abner / Pexels It’s easy to assume that your inner child is just a cute concept, some vague idea about the younger version of yourself. Yet understanding our inner child helps us face the wounds that we may have received while growing up.
Helping our inner child heal means offering ourselves the empathy we may not have gotten when we were actual children.
The mental health Instagram account, I Go to Therapy, shared various ways to approach your inner child and work to overcome the difficulties you experienced in childhood.
Here are 7 phrases to tell your inner child every day
1. 'It was not your fault'
When considering past trauma, whether it was relational, emotional or physical, the younger version of you might cast blame inward, because it seems like the trauma was your fault. In reality, kids aren’t at fault for the trauma they’ve experienced, no matter what anyone says.
It's important to emphasize the truth behind the myth your trauma created: You were just a kid. Whatever happened wasn’t your fault.
2. 'It was unfair that you had to grow up so quickly'
Often, our inner child is hurting because they didn’t get the nurture they needed. Parentification of kids happens when caregivers treat their children like adults, forcing them to face issues beyond their level of development, way before they’re ready.
While some people might view an early launch into adulthood as a point of pride, it’s also healthy to acknowledge that playing the role of an adult when you were just a kid wasn’t fair.
3. 'No matter how mature you were, you deserved the chance to just be a kid'
All kids deserve time to be kids, plain and simple. One form of healing this particular wound can be to take part in play, just for the sake of making yourself happy.
So, start an art project. Explore the great outdoors. Heal yourself by giving yourself what you were denied as a child. Find the power in just having fun.
4. 'You are not powerless or alone anymore'
Being a child is often categorized as an innocent time when other people care for you and provide for your basic needs. But if your needs weren’t actually met, your childhood memories could be painful instead of nostalgic.
Photo: Rafael Barros / Pexels
Being a kid often means we don’t have control over our circumstances. When it comes to being neglected, whether physically or emotionally, healing our inner child wounds means reassuring ourselves that we’re safe and that we’re in control of how we want to live, now.
5. 'Your big emotions are welcome'
Not having our emotions validated can cause harm, both in the moment of childhood and later in adulthood. When we aren’t allowed to express the more difficult emotions, we’re essentially being told that it’s not okay to have those feelings.
Learning how to express, accept, and process big emotions is an important part of healing ourselves.
6. 'You deserve to take up space and ask for what you need'
If we were denied emotional or practical guidance as children, we might feel like we aren’t enough, like we don’t deserve to have our needs met.
Photo: Dennis Leinarts / Pexels
Yet by virtue of just being human, we all deserve to be here. We deserve to ask for what we need and not feel guilty for doing so. We are our own best advocates, and speaking up for ourselves is healing to the child inside of us, who wasn’t given the chance to do so.
7. 'You don’t have to be perfect to be loved'
Another facet of feeling like we aren’t enough is assuming that we’re not deserving of love. Yet we’re all worthy of being loved and appreciated, even if the child version of ourselves was told otherwise.
By offering ourselves that love, and by not basing it on our performance as people, we can embody the true meaning of self-acceptance.
Regularly checking in with your inner child is a healthy habit to adopt.
Clinical psychologist Trish Phillips, told mindbodygreen, "Inner child work, like any type of inner work, involves creating a space where your subconscious is allowed to take the lead." She stressed that just that small act of letting your inner child take the lead is imperative in understanding our unhealthy coping mechanisms as adults.
So, next time you hear that inner voice, don't ignore it. Your younger self is expressing herself and if you listen and nurture her you'll be closer to truly understanding yourself and how you relate to others and the world.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.