How To Call A Co-Worker Out For Lying, According To An HR Expert
It's all in the way you say it.
TheStandingDesk / Unsplash We spend the majority of our waking hours at work, which means our coworkers become the people we interact with most on a daily basis.
Even if we’re not in a physical office, office politics can take up a lot of our mental space. If you’re aware of a coworker’s less-than-moral behavior, you might not know what steps to take next.
An HR expert revealed one simple way to call a coworker out for lying.
Amy, a Chief Human Resources Officer at a global company, uses her Instagram presence to offer people ways to get ahead in their corporate jobs. She recently addressed a complicated issue: What do you do if a coworker is being dishonest?
Amy gave a couple of hypothetical scenarios to help people figure out what to say to a coworker who’s bending the truth.
“Let’s say a coworker of yours says they didn’t know that they were supposed to do something,” Amy said. “You say, ‘It’s my understanding from the project-tracker that that was assigned to you. Am I misunderstanding? Can you help me understand?’"
In her next example of how to call out a lying coworker, Amy painted a scene involving a conversation among other employees.
Photo: Kindel Media / Pexels
“Let’s say someone told you that they had a conversation with someone and confirmed something, and the other person says that they were unaware.” She advised replying with, “I understand that you talked to so-and-so and talked about it. Am I misunderstanding?”
Essentially, Amy suggests taking what could be called a non-confrontational approach to confrontation. By framing the conversation on what you might be misunderstanding, you give your coworker the opportunity to clarify where they’re coming from and be truthful about what really went down.
Asking for help in understanding your coworker shifts the focus back toward them, which means they have to explain themselves to you.
“You essentially present the fact, the truth, and ask them to help you understand if you are missing something,” Amy explained further. “It’s a direct way to say, ‘Hey, it’s my understanding that what you’re saying is incorrect, but can you help me understand if I’m missing something?’”
“It’s an approachable way of saying, ‘I don’t buy your BS,’” she concluded.
Hopefully, if someone you’re working with hasn’t been truthful, they’ll work to course-correct and take accountability for their actions. Owning up to misbehavior might not fix all of the issues at hand, but it’s part of the process of rebuilding trust and re-establishing the relationships that have been damaged.
Taking accountability isn’t an easy task. Yet accepting responsibility when we’re wrong is one way to center and honor the truth. Holding ourselves accountable for things we've done that have caused harm can be a liberating act.
Often, when someone is being dishonest, it's masking something larger. A person who lies might not change in actionable ways, yet identifying their dishonesty ultimately provides them the platform to become better versions of themselves.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry