Relationship Expert Says There Is One Clear Sign Your Marriage Is On Its 'Deathbed'
Love can change over time, but that doesn't mean it's disappeared.
Svitlana Hulko / Shutterstock Content creator Rick Netshiozwi utilizes his role as a husband and father to offer guidance on how to make a marriage last. He emphasizes the importance of intimacy in keeping the spark of romance alive.
The relationship expert shared the one clear sign that your marriage is on its ‘deathbed.’
Netshiozwi believes that a major sign of a troubled marriage is when the relationship is “void of touch.”
He gave various examples of ways that a lack of physical intimacy might manifest in a marriage, saying, “You don’t hug each other anymore. The kissing is not the same anymore, or it’s not done as frequently as it used to be done.”
According to Netshiozwi, the main sign of a dying marriage is related to how you sleep at night.
He asserted that cuddling in bed signifies a strong relationship, and if you’re not snuggling up together, your marriage is in danger.
“A clear sign that the marriage is on its way to its deathbed” is that “when you sleep, this person’s half is their half; that other half is your half — Your feet don’t even touch anymore,” he said.
Photo: PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock
Netshiozwi argued that “touch is a critical component for marriage.”
"One of the ways to see that touch has truly gone and has truly left is when the minute you touch each other, as a married couple, there is a weird energy that flows," he added. "That is a symbol that you are drifting apart quicker than lightning strikes a tree on a day that there is a storm.”
Poetics aside, there’s validity to his view that touch keeps couples close.
It’s scientifically proven that touch heightens our oxytocin levels. Often called “the love hormone,” oxytocin is also associated with building trust and increased attraction.
A 2021 article published in the journal Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews makes the claim that touch is “the most fundamental form of contact,” and social touch can create a sense of unity and convey feelings of love. Amongst the positive effects of social touch are lower stress levels and a feeling of togetherness, yet the initial touch has to be wanted for those effects to take place.
Photo: George Rudy / Shutterstock
The way a couple sleeps isn’t necessarily a projection of how healthy their relationship is. Sleep is a uniquely personal endeavor. Some people run hot in their sleep, others, cold. Some people don’t want to be touched while they snooze, at all.
Physical intimacy is an important part of a marriage, but it’s not the only thing that keeps romance alive.
Maintaining the rigid idea that all couples have to function in one way to work out overlooks the nuances that go into building a relationship.
Feeling like you’re living a separate life from your partner is destabilizing, yet there are ways to foster reconnection. If you find yourself on the far side of the bed from your partner, don’t freak out just yet.
Instead, find ways to feel close that work for you. Carving out time to spend together or scheduling a date night, where you try something new, are both ways to get back in touch.
As years pass, making time for each other might feel harder than it did in the throes of young love. It’s important to recognize that relationships are never static. They shift and grow as we do, making space for new iterations of ourselves as love deepens.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers relationships, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.