After Overhearing A Private Phone Call, A Dad Writes A Note To His Gay Son Who Hadn't Come Out Yet
Love is love, after all.
Kindel Media / Pexels For many parents, raising kids comes with ingrained hopes, wishes, and projections for the kind of person their child will grow up to become.
Yet placing expectations on kids can be damaging, as it doesn’t allow for them to figure themselves out, on their own terms. Accepting kids as they are is the most valuable gift a parent can give.
After overhearing a private call, a dad wrote a note to his gay son, who hadn’t yet come out.
The dad’s letter was circulated on the r/mademesmile subreddit. It appears to be a few years old, yet the sentiment it holds is timeless.
“Dear Nate,” the letter started. “I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me.”
Photo: Reddit
The letter went on to include a classic dad joke and a request for Nate to complete his chores. While certain people might think joking around about coming out is a flippant move, it also could be seen as a way to lighten a potentially anxiety-provoking situation, something to help Nate feel more at ease.
“The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class,” he declared. “We are out, like you, now.”
Some critics might posit that the dad’s note took away agency from Nate to come out on his own terms and in his own time. Yet it’s valuable to point out that in a less heteronormative and more accepting world, Nate wouldn’t have to come out, at all.
In fact, no one would necessarily be expected to declare themselves as different from the norm, because the norm would be way more inclusive to begin with.
The dad normalized the experience of coming out by showing his son how much he is loved and accepted, for exactly who he is.
He revealed that nothing would change how he felt about his son, writing, “I’ve known you were gay since you were six. I’ve loved you since you were born.”
By sharing a simple utterance of unconditional love, the dad made it completely clear that his son’s sexuality is only one part of what makes him who he is, and that he’s cherished his presence since his first moments on this planet.
He also made it clear that he was supportive of Nate’s relationship, adding, “PS: Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.”
The dad’s letter is a clear example of how to practice radical love and acceptance in our relationships. He modeled compassion for his son, by demonstrating that the foundation of their relationship was strong and immovable, even if Nate was worried things might change.
His words touched people’s hearts across the Reddit community.
Not everyone’s parents are as welcoming, as some people reflected on their own experience coming out to their parents.
“I knew I was gay at six,” one person shared. “[I’m] sitting here crying, imagining having parents this supportive and lovely.”
Another person noted that Nate’s dad’s concerns were in the right place, stating that the “only things parents should stress with their children [are] health, safety, and happiness.”
"It hurts my heart that not every parent's reaction is like this," a third user wrote. "A parent's love should be unconditional."
The dad's heartfelt utterance of love for his son shows that love is love is love, after all.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.