8 Signs Someone In Your Life Feels Way Too Entitled To Your Time & Energy
Addressing these can help you protect your peace.
Mix and Match Studio / Shutterstock; Mammuth / CanvaPro The people you choose to surround yourself with ultimately influence your entire being — for better or worse. While happy, joyful, and encouraging people can help to build up your self-worth and “fill your cup,” envious, entitled, “energy vampires” can seriously harm you.
Sometimes these energy-suckers are living in plain sight. So how can you spot someone who is taking away from your confidence, energy, and well-being? There are definitely signs to look for.
Here are the 8 signs someone in your life feels way too entitled to your time and energy:
1. They feel that you always owe them an answer and explanation.
People who are constantly asking questions and prodding into your life, no matter what the conversation is about, can be toxic to your energy.
Oftentimes these people don’t realize they’re draining your energy or taking up your time, but they simply feel it’s their right to know information about your life (that you might’ve otherwise kept private). Whether a friend, parent, or sibling, setting boundaries with these people can be important for your sanity.
Oftentimes, these people who feel entitled to your time and energy are quick to spark conflicts or entice you to argue — even over the smallest things. Being the bigger person by not giving in to petty arguments can help you to protect your peace and privacy.
2. They set unrealistically high expectations for you.
In an effort to keep your energy low and take any attention away from you, these entitled people will often set unrealistic expectations for you knowing that you’ll never be able to achieve them.
Entitled people find themselves grasping for other’s attention. By making the goals of people around them unachievable, they are more likely to receive praise for reaching their own goals. Remember that you own and are responsible for your own goals and expectations. Don’t let others' negative thoughts shift your ambitions.
3. They manipulate or punish you when they don’t get what they want.
People with entitled mindsets feel they deserve special attention or treatment from the people around them.
When they don’t receive that attention, they tend to lash out at others. So, if you’re busy, focusing on yourself, or need to protect your alone time (for whatever reason), you might find that entitled people in your life are punishing you for not giving them attention.
In many cases, this manifests itself as the “silent treatment,” an unexpected attitude, or deliberate acts of selfishness. Be diligent about who makes you feel bad for taking time for yourself because a true friend would never hurt you for helping yourself.
4. You feel anxious whenever they’re around.
Sometimes, our body unconsciously gives us signals when we’re in discomfort or unsafe situations, it’s why everyone always suggests that you “trust your gut.” Your instincts alone can tell you a lot about someone, so don’t shrug these feelings off immediately if they arise.
Many people suggest that when you’re inherently anxious around someone, it’s because you feel a sense of inferiority to them. If this is someone close to you, who you’d expect to be a partner or a friend, chances are this inferiority complex is being upheld by their actions.
While it might not be the case 100% of the time, make sure you’re conscious of your “gut feelings” when your body tells you to be wary around someone.
5. They expect support from you but never give it in return.
These are the classic “energy vampires,” people who always have something going wrong in their life, and always need support, but are hesitant or resistant to give you any type of help. These people talk about their problems and victimize their situations, but make it difficult for you to vent to them.
They’re “trauma-dumpers” and “over-sharers” that leave no room for anyone else to find guidance or a listening ear. While their main motive might not be to drain your energy, sometimes it might be healthy for you to take a step back and recharge.
6. They often blame you during conflict because they are unable to accept when they’re wrong.
To save their ego and their energy, these people feel entitled to “be right” no matter what that means for the people around them. These people will often go to great lengths to make others feel insecure, incorrect, or invalidated.
If you’re constantly wondering why you’re always in the wrong or under fire from one particular person, chances are they’re deflecting their own insecurities onto you.
7. They repeatedly ignore your boundaries.
Boundaries can be a healthy way to protect your peace, especially in the face of toxic family members, friends, or anyone else who plays a role in your life. However, setting boundaries doesn’t immediately mean that people will respect them.
Oftentimes, frustration and anger in a relationship can be a result of someone not respecting boundaries.
Entitled, “energy vampires” are quick to overstep boundaries and only look out for themselves. Other people’s boundaries are often secondary to getting what they desire. If people are not respecting your boundaries, are taking away your precious energy and time, or are not respecting you as a person, it might be time to step away and remove them from your life.
8. They seek attention and try to overshadow you in group settings.
Lastly, entitled people are always looking to draw attention to themselves and away from others. They feel entitled to this special attention and don’t respect any relationships that get in the way of that.
All of these signs are motivated by this attention-seeking behavior.
So, if you feel like you’re being constantly overshadowed in relationships, unheard in partnerships, or underappreciated in general, take a look at the people around you and make deliberate efforts to only give energy to those who genuinely support you.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.