Woman Refused To Let Her Boyfriend's Nephew Help Decorate Her Christmas Tree — 'It's Tradition That I Decorate The Tree By Myself'
She communicated the importance of her tradition early on.
LightFieldStudios / Canva Pro The holidays can be a tough time for many people, but annual traditions can help to keep the aura cheerful. Whether it’s decorating cookies with family, shopping for gifts, or decorating the house, the joy of tradition keeps the holiday spirit alive.
For one young woman on Reddit, her tradition of decorating the family Christmas tree each year was an event that she took a lot of pride in. Getting alone time to express her creativity and embrace the holiday spirit meant a lot to her.
After being forced out of her childhood home and moving in with her boyfriend’s family, she made sure to get a tree of her own to keep the tradition alive. It gave her something to look forward to, even though she wasn’t in her typical setting.
While her boyfriend initially agreed, she was put in an uncomfortable position when his mother volunteered his young nephew to join her in decorating the tree.
Frustrated and angry that her boyfriend wasn’t pushing back, she took matters into her own hands and reminded his family that they had their own tree.
Her boyfriend’s mother got upset with her when the woman refused to decorate her Christmas tree with the young boy.
“I was gutted,” the woman admitted. “I was looking forward to this. [My] boyfriend didn't defend me.”
Even after the woman specifically told her boyfriend's mother about her cherished tradition, his mom still offered up the smaller tree in their room for the nephew. She even called it “his” tree to decorate, while his younger sister helped with the family tree.
Photo: Susannah Townsend / Canva Pro
“They don’t like to share!” the mom defended after being confronted.
Already upset about her family situation, the woman held her ground. She was not willing to give up this one tradition she held close to her heart.
Recognizing she didn't have ‘rights’ to decorate her boyfriend’s family tree, she felt it was unfair that her own tree was offered up to the young child.
In her Reddit post, she admitted that she was indifferent to young children, but while being in a shared space with her boyfriend’s family she had never been malicious or mean towards them. She was paying rent, but that didn't give her a basis to be rude towards any of his family members, especially around the holidays.
“I understand a lot of comments think that him being a child means I should bend over backwards to keep him happy,” she wrote in an update to the post, “but, I am not his guardian.”
When she held her ground with her boyfriend's mother, she eventually agreed to let her keep the tradition. The little boy didn’t know about the small tree yet and it wasn’t worth arguing about. “My boyfriend’s mum and I talked it out. She is not mad, but she was annoyed because she thought it could be a neat idea.”
Clearly, the confrontation was a misunderstanding. The mother did not grasp the importance of the woman’s tradition. However, the boyfriend’s lack of support felt disingenuous to many readers.
The boyfriend’s lack of support in the face of his mother only escalated the confrontation.
Many commenters agreed that there was a foundational issue in the dynamic between her and her boyfriend. While it might’ve also been a lack of communication, his lack of support for her tradition only escalated an issue that could’ve been easily avoided.
“Have a talk with the boyfriend about how his total lack of support made you feel,” one commenter wrote. “Him not speaking up when he’s well aware of your history and the sentiment behind it make me feel he’s more of a jerk than the mom.”
Many commenters said the boyfriend made the biggest mistake by purposefully letting his mother take control over a tradition that was incredibly special to the woman. He wasted an opportunity to make her feel less alienated in a home that “didn’t feel quite like [hers] yet”.
Her story is a reminder of the importance of tradition during the holidays, especially for people grieving the loss of a childhood in which they were built. This woman needed the support and understanding of her boyfriend and his family and she felt disregarded. Thankfully, she spoke up and communicated her concerns effectively. Perhaps the true lesson in this scenario was for the boyfriend and his family, not just in empathy, but in listening.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture and human interest stories.