Husband Accuses His Wife Of 'Intentionally' Trying To Hurt Their Toddler — 'He Makes Me Feel Incompetent'
She tried to explain to her husband that toddlers are bound to get hurt.
Alena Ozerova / Shutterstock A clumsy toddler is a normal toddler. As kids grow and learn to walk, skip, and run, it's inevitable that they take some tumbles.
But one father doesn't seem to understand that falling is a normal part of toddlerhood. In fact, his wife admitted to the r/parenting subreddit that he had accused her of acting negligently regarding their toddler because the child tends to fall and get hurt.
The woman is fed up with her husband's accusations and is unsure how to reassure him that she would never purposefully put their toddler in harm's way.
Her husband claimed that she was 'intentionally' trying to hurt their toddler.
The woman started her Reddit post with a story from when their now 22-month-old daughter was just four months old. While carrying her daughter, she bent down to pick something up from the floor, and her baby jerked to the side, hitting her eyebrow against the corner of the bedside table.
"I was riddled with guilt for weeks and cried because I couldn't believe how dumb I had been. She was fine, only cried for a couple of seconds, there's only a scar there that hasn't gone away yet," she recalled. "I started with this story because I suspect that this may be why my husband does this to me."
Now, as an almost two-year-old, her daughter often falls and hurts herself. The mother shared that the little girl's motor skills are slightly behind other kids her age, and she isn't as stable on her feet. Throughout the day, she and her toddler are together, but she can't keep her from injuring herself entirely.
"I can't keep her in a bubble," she wrote. "She's a toddler. She runs around and plays outside, inside, everywhere — she's bound to get hurt."
Photo: lp-studio / Shutterstock
"She doesn't get hurt any more than the average toddler, she just falls more, but usually gets right up and goes back to playing," she continued. "Every time my daughter falls, or my husband sees a new bruise on her leg, a cut on her arm or something, he immediately asks me what did I do?"
The mom admitted that she's always surprised when her husband asks her this question. "I tell him she fell while playing outside, she hit her head, etc. But it's never enough for him," she shared. "He then goes on to tell me how it's my fault, that I probably wasn't watching her."
"The tone he uses when he asks me about these things sounds as if he's saying I intentionally hurt her," she added.
The mom pointed out that anyone with a toddler will understand that sometimes they get hurt.
"No amount of baby-proofing, locks, corner covers, and gates will be enough to stop them from finding a way to get hurt," she explained. " I feel like my husband hasn't spent enough hours a day with her in a row to know that. He makes me feel incompetent and negligent even though I know I do my best to take care of her."
She questioned if there was any way for her to get it through her husband's head that she would never purposefully put their toddler in danger, but that as a small child with limited control of her motor skills, there are going to be moments when things like this happen.
In the comments section, people agreed with her insistence that toddlers are just bound to hurt themselves and that her husband needs to understand that as a child, there are going to be moments when they come home with cuts on their knees from falling.
"The bedside thing is awful and I see how you felt guilty but then kids that age constantly bump into things and smash their heads," one Reddit user pointed out. "It happened, it hurt, you consoled and no lasting damage was done, so move on."
Another user added, "Toddlers in that age act like they want to be hurt. It's impossible to be always everywhere and protect them for everything. The main problem is that you took over the responsibility of your child and your husband seems to have no idea about how difficult your role is."
Toddlers are naturally curious and eager at that stage in their lives. They are starting to become aware of their environments and are testing their physical abilities to get a better understanding of the world around them. Accidents happen, and as long as parents are doing their best to ensure their children are safe from serious injuries, there are going to be moments where a child hurts themselves, — it's unavoidable. That doesn't mean their parents are being negligent or abusive.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.