Guy Told A Woman He Can't See Her Anymore Because She's 'Too Fat' & Needs To 'Grind Hard' If She Wants Him To Marry Her
Weight should not be the deciding factor in a relationship.
WeAre / Shutterstock While dating apps make getting a date, or at least exploring your options, much more convenient, online dating also comes with its own set of issues.
One woman named Sophie Barnello shared a truly bizarre text message she received from a man she met on a dating app and went on three dates with.
He told her they couldn't date anymore because she was 'too fat.'
In a since-deleted TikTok video that was reuploaded onto X, Barnello gathered around with two of her friends and explained that she'd just received the most absurd text message of her life from a man that she'd matched with on the dating app Hinge.
The two of them had gone on a total of three dates before he felt the need to break it off — because of her weight.
While it's completely fine to tell someone that you're no longer interested in them, this man claimed that he couldn't date Barnello anymore because of her weight and lack of motivation to hit the gym. Despite sending such a foul message, the guy prefaced the text by assuring Barnello that he thought she was still "so gorgeous" and "naturally beautiful."
"I want to stare at your smile all day long. [You're] perfectly goofy and don't take [yourself] too seriously," he wrote to Barnello. "The hard part is I thought it was tough to have a really good physical connection that matches everything else between us."
The message quickly turned insulting. "I know it sounds terrible to say, and like I have no right at all but I have to be honest because my life revolves around staying fit," he wrote. "That's just who I am and it's something I've been thinking about."
"I don't even want to say this and I'm dreading sending it [because] I don't want you out of my life but right now is just not the right time," he continued.
He advised her to 'grind hard' in the gym for the next few months and he could potentially change his mind.
"Even with that said, I would love it if [you] reached out at some point in the future," he messaged her. "I could very easily see if you grind it hard for six months or a year or whatever it is, I honestly think I would marry you."
After receiving this text, Barnello shared that she was distraught and "cried a lot," but in her video, she found humor after initially being sad about it. She joked that within the next couple of months, she'd "lose 20 pounds," and even showed the meal she was eating in the video, quipping that the aforementioned guy probably wouldn't like that she was eating instead of working out.
Barnello promised that she had no intention of responding to this guy's message, but that if she did, she would've asked him to "pay for my liposuction" so they could "get married faster."
Weight should not be the deciding factor in a relationship.
Refusing to date someone because of their weight is an incredibly problematic stance to have. While dating preferences are highly subjective and there are traits in a person that someone may not be willing to compromise in a relationship, weight should never be one of them — and it certainly shouldn't be the dealbreaker.
Insisting that someone must conform to specific body standards only perpetuates unrealistic beauty ideals. People come in various shapes and sizes, and promoting a more inclusive perspective on attractiveness is important for breaking free from societal pressures and promoting a diverse and accepting dating culture.
Going to the gym and working out is an essential part of many people's daily routines, and that's more than okay.
Taking care of one's health and body should be encouraged, but it shouldn't be the main priority in what you look for in a partner. No matter how "sorry" this man was to send Barnello that message, there's no excuse when it comes to body-shaming and making a woman feel insecure in her weight or appearance.
It seems we've lost a vital aspect of dating — having respect for people you are interested in and want to get to know. At the end of the day, Barnello dodged a bullet and is better off without a man who finds no issue in speaking to women in such a disrespectful and disparaging manner.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.