Man Asks If He's Wrong For Ignoring Angry Neighbor When His Baby Cries At Night — 'There's Not Much We Can Do'
How do you deal with an angry neighbor when your daughter won't stop crying?
Nick Fedirko / Shutterstock If there’s anything worse than your baby waking up crying in the middle of the night, it’s having a neighbor fuming at your door because of it.
Sleepless nights are an inherent element of parenthood, and dealing with a disgruntled neighbor only adds more stress to the situation.
A man shared how his daughter’s late-night cries have created conflict with his neighbor.
In an AITA post on Reddit, a man explained how his one-year-old daughter’s molars have begun growing, causing her a lot of pain. He said she was a sound sleeper up until this point, and now she has been waking up screaming and crying from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. every night.
He and his wife have tried to comfort her as best as they can, giving her baby Motrin to help alleviate the pain and bringing her into their bed with them, but there’s only so much they can do.
The dad said the Motrin only works for about eight hours at a time, so by 3 a.m. they have to re-dose and wait out her cries, “cradling her for 15-20 minutes” until it kicks in again.
The man shared how they live on the ground floor of a condo building, and although the building is fairly sound-proofed, the young, single woman who lives above them is displeased with their daughter’s late-night cries.
The neighbor made efforts to disturb the family in response to their daughter's cries.
The man said the woman leaves her balcony door open all day and night and "punishes" them by placing a stereo next to her balcony and playing loud music directly into their unit. The man said his wife is offended by the woman’s intentions, but he tried to make light of it, saying the woman had "great music taste," and his daughter enjoyed dancing to her music all day long.
After the man’s daughter woke up crying at 3 a.m. again, the woman decided to take things one step further.
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While he and his wife tried to settle their daughter, the woman came ‘barging down’ to their unit, ringing their doorbell repeatedly.
The man said his wife, “a strong-tempered, petite woman, amplified by her first year of motherhood,” wanted to confront the woman then and there, but he realized tensions were high and they needed to focus on what was a priority, calming their daughter and getting her back to sleep. He didn't want to upset his daughter any more than she already was, so they ignored the woman and let her fume outside their door.
He asked if he was wrong for ignoring his selfish neighbor. One person commented, saying "Why can't the neighbor run a fan or some earbuds for this TEMPORARY issue since the baby has been a good sleeper up until now?" Another asked, "Is there some reason why you can't move the doses of Motrin so that it works all night? Maybe a dose at 11:00 pm? That would allow all of you to get a much-needed night's sleep."
The man decided to de-escalate the situation with kindness.
Instead of acting impulsively, the dad tried to put himself in his neighbor's shoes and realized no one likes to be woken up in the middle of the night, even by a helpless baby. He decided to take the high road and extend an olive branch to the annoyed woman.
He delivered a care package to the woman's door with a long letter, a bottle of wine, and chocolates. He explained in the letter how he and his family are temporarily renting their condo while they renovate their home, but he wanted to extend a peace offering as an attempt to end the pettiness.
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"Yes, it sucks to be woken up. Yes, it’s a shared building. Yes, people throw parties here until 3 a.m. on the weekends. Yes, babies cry and we try our best," the man wrote.
Unfortunately, people will not always have the best neighbors. It can be difficult to not react with emotion, but you should always try to approach conflict with calmness and respect. The woman's actions may not have been mature either, but the man handled the situation gracefully, rather than continuing an unnecessary war.
Navigating late-night cries and frustrated neighbors requires patience and understanding from both parties. Empathy and communication are necessary to find common ground in these challenging moments of early parenthood.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, and spirituality topics.