Single Dad Asks For Help After His Daughter Gets Her Period — 'Please Help Me Be A Good Dad'
Parenting through change is never easy, especially when that change comes so soon after loss.
Minerva Studio / Canva Pro Raising children is an exercise in endurance, the very definition of a marathon, not a sprint. While parenting can be arduous, it’s also full of remarkable milestones, like first steps and lost teeth. These moments register the passing of time, and the growth of children into the adults they’ll one day become.
Yet some transitions are harder than others, especially when they’re tinged with grief.
A single dad asked for help after his daughter got her first period, not long after losing her mom.
He wrote to the r/parenting subreddit because his nine-year-old daughter started her period and he wasn’t sure how to guide her. “I’m feeling a bit lost,” the dad remarked. “My kids mean everything to me, since they lost their mother I have tried so hard to be both role models in their life.”
He admitted that he felt ill-prepared to help his daughter deal with this particular milestone, saying, “I didn't expect this to happen for a few years, the school syllabus is due to teach her sex ed next year.”
After his daughter came to him with spotting in her underwear, the dad explained, “I did my best to reassure her and luckily I hadn't cleaned out my wife's bathroom stuff so I was able to find a pad and showed her how to use them. We had a brief talk about periods, but she's super embarrassed and upset.”
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“I'm trying to make this as normal and supportive as possible, but I could really use some guidance,” he shared. “How can I help her through this?”
He asked for help navigating his daughter’s first period, saying, 'I have been struggling so bad since I lost my wife... Please help me be a good dad.'
Comments from other parents flooded in, as they commended the dad for being open and seeking advice, all in an effort to ease his daughter into this next phase of her life.
A number of moms suggested he pack his daughter a period kit to keep in her backpack, with a variety of essential products, like pads, period underwear, medication, and snacks.
They also suggested speaking to her teacher or another trusted female adult. Someone to help his daughter answer questions she might be too nervous to ask him about her changing body. They also recommended books about puberty and advised that he initiate conversations about the changes that will be coming her way.
The dad responded graciously, noting that he planned to talk to her teacher, although he noted that they “only recently lost her mom, so really [there] is not another woman figure in our lives at the moment, I am trying to play both sides.”
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His comment captured the heartbreaking challenge of parenting through loss, as both he and his daughter try to adjust to life without her mom.
Other parents emphasized how important it is for the dad to normalize periods for his daughter, “show her it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s totally normal and not gross.”
“Make it as normal as possible, because it is,” another user explained. “Her body is changing but she’s still her. Make sure she knows that.”
The dad returned to the comments to share his foolproof period plan. He said, “I have been looking at the teen pads, I will go a little crazy tomorrow and just buy a ton of different things ... [I] would prefer to overspend then leave her uncomfortable!”
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He noted the special way he planned to commemorate her mom, “I will give her my wife's Dior clutch to use as a kit bag, I think. She loves it and it reminds her of her mother so I think that would be a nice gesture.”
While this dad may feel like he’s struggling to stay afloat, his active engagement and thoughtful processing show just how present he is for his children, and that in itself is enough to weather the stormy seas of inevitable change.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.