Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Uninviting Pregnant Sister-In-Law From Thanksgiving Due To Her List Of 'Unreasonable' Demands
Her brother claims that his wife "can't help how she feels during pregnancy" and accused his sister of ruining Thanksgiving.
Da Antipina / Shutterstock A woman’s Thanksgiving plans with her family were nearly derailed by her pregnant sister-in-law, who attempted to dictate what the guests could and could not eat or drink, and what time they had to sit down for dinner due to her pregnancy needs.
However, with the consideration of the rest of her guests, the woman decided it would be best if she uninvited her sister-in-law from Thanksgiving dinner. The soon-to-be mom and her husband claimed she was being “unfair” and “exclusive.”
The woman uninvited her pregnant sister-in-law from Thanksgiving dinner after she demanded that there be no poultry, alcohol, or family games.
Sharing her story to the AITA subreddit, the 33-year-old woman explained that she is hosting Thanksgiving dinner for her family this year.
“It’s a pretty big gathering that normally involves my siblings, their partners, my sister’s kids, and our parents,” she wrote. “We have a traditional Thanksgiving meal, watch the parade, play games as a family, [and have a] couple [of] drinks together in the evening.”
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Part of the crowd includes the woman’s brother, James, and his wife, Becky, who are expecting their first child in the spring. Since Becky is pregnant, she decided that a few of the Thanksgiving traditions would have to be adjusted to accommodate her.
“Her rules were no poultry as the smell makes her sick, no alcohol as the smell makes her sick and she can’t join in, the food needs to be served early as she needs to nap during the time it’s normally served," the woman wrote. “She doesn’t want to play the games as she tires easily so can we just listen to music/talk in the evening instead.”
The woman admitted that she was “really upset” by Becky’s demands since they were unreasonable and would be difficult for all of the other guests to adhere to.
“Firstly none of us are vegetarian and so I don’t really know how to prepare a turkey alternative,” she wrote. “I’d already ordered the turkey and it seems like a waste. And to not be able to drink, eat when we want to, or even play our games in the evening just feels so unreasonable when 9 of us won’t get to celebrate in the way we’d like to.”
While the woman was kind enough to tell Becky that she would be happy to make her a non-poultry dish and would ask other guests not to drink during dinner, she would not be canceling the family games just because Becky did not want to participate. “My niece and nephew are now old enough to join in and really loved it last year,” the woman added.
Photo: Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock
However, this was not enough for Becky and James. “Both James and Becky said I was being unreasonable and that she’s pregnant so I need to be more understanding,” the woman wrote.
Even the woman’s mother believed that she should accommodate Becky’s requests, but she decided enough was enough. “I told Becky she was uninvited if she can’t accept any compromise whatsoever,” she wrote.
Later that day, James called the woman and criticized her for excluding Becky and ruining her Thanksgiving just because she “can’t help how she feels during pregnancy.” She explained, “I said I wasn’t excluding her and she’s welcome if she can accept that Thanksgiving has to work for everyone else too.”
She does not want the disagreement over Thanksgiving traditions to cause a rift within their family, so she turned to Reddit for advice.
Many people sided with the woman, agreeing that Becky’s requests were unreasonable.
“If Becky wants a Thanksgiving organized exactly to specifications that are the exact opposite of yours, James or one of the other people insisting she needs to get whatever she wants because she’s pregnant can organize it for her,” one user commented.
“I am currently pregnant and the smell of alcohol makes me sick too and I am overly tired. Not in a million years would I think that anyone apart from my partner should have to go out of their way to accommodate me,” another user shared.
“Your solutions to offer an additional alternative and ban alcohol from the table are really reasonable compromises. To ask 9 people to not play a game because she will be tired is wild. She can just go home earlier or watch you guys play.”
“Some first-time moms get like that and it’s so embarrassing,” another user noted about Becky’s behavior. “Some pregnant women think they’re God 'cause they’re making tiny humans. Like yeah, it’s amazing. But… the world doesn’t revolve around you.”
Others pointed out that while pregnancy may be difficult for some, it is not a disability that those who are pregnant must be accommodated for.
Photo: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
If the smell of certain foods or drinks bothers Becky, she is more than welcome to leave the room. However, it is unfair of her to expect every other guest who is not pregnant to refrain from enjoying these foods and drinks.
If she is tired and needs a nap, by all means, she is welcome to take one in another room while the rest of the family participates in their usual Thanksgiving traditions. This does not mean that the entire Thanksgiving dinner party should rest as well.
For many people, Thanksgiving represents a time of reflection, appreciation, and the importance of coming together with loved ones. This includes demonstrating feelings of love, appreciation, and selflessness.
Instead of demanding that her family give up their important Thanksgiving traditions, Becky should really consider the fact that it is not just her holiday to enjoy.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.