Husband Tells His Sick Wife To 'Get Over It' After She Asked Him To Take Their Daughter To Daycare
A migraine is more than just a headache.
Krakenimages.com, evrymmnk / Shutterstock After a mother suffered a debilitating medical episode, she asked her husband if he would be able to drive their daughter to daycare himself. She was not prepared for her husband to argue that since she took a sick day from work, she should handle childcare.
Now, the woman is frustrated that her husband does not have compassion for just how serious her condition is, and is seeking advice on how to handle the situation moving forward.
The woman’s husband told her to ‘get over’ her migraine so she could take their daughter to daycare.
Sharing her dilemma to the U.K.-based parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman revealed that she has suffered from debilitating migraines since the birth of her daughter.
“When I get them I can’t bear to look at light, and any sound even if it’s in another room or downstairs, goes straight through me and makes me feel like I’m being whacked on the head with a hammer,” she wrote. “My whole head feels like it’s going to burst and it’s extremely painful. I also feel really nauseous and teary.”
One evening as she was getting ready for bed, the woman felt a migraine coming on. Despite taking two Ibuprofen before she went to bed, it did little to alleviate her symptoms, and she was tossing and turning all night in pain.
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By the time she was up for work in the morning, she still wasn’t feeling any better. When her husband saw how much pain the woman was in, he urged her not to go to work, since it would be dangerous for her to drive and the two had arranged childcare for the day anyway.
However, after the woman asked her husband if he could take their little one to daycare, he got defensive. “He got annoyed that he was having to take our daughter to childcare as he said if I wasn’t at work, I should be looking after her,” the woman wrote, despite being unable to move from bed.
Her husband also claimed that it was “just a headache,” and what would she have done had she not arranged childcare. The woman grew frustrated since her husband did not appear to understand the true agony of migraines, and how much they take out of a person.
“If I had a cold or anything else of course I’d look after my daughter even when I was off sick from work but I literally can’t bear sound and light when I have a migraine and all that helps me is lying in the dark and trying not to move,” she wrote.
Thankfully, most people validated the woman’s feelings, agreeing that migraines are unbearable.
“Until somebody has a migraine they never understand how savage they actually are. As someone who suffers you have my sympathies. I throw up, get vertigo and dizziness, paralyzing pain down one side of my eye and jaw so I can barely turn my head. It's horrendous,” one person commented.
“Your husband won't understand the pain or how you can't do anything if he never gets them,” another person pointed out. “If it is stopping you working/driving of course you are unable to watch the child. And if it’s unsafe to drive to work then you wouldn't drive to childcare,” another person wrote.
One user diplomatically added, “If the migraine has passed and you are off work due to disturbed sleep I would think he might have more of a point but it is still best to send the child to childcare to catch up on rest and ideally get a doctor's appointment for migraine meds.”
For those who get migraines (around 30% of the global population, according to WHO), we know all too well how much they can affect our everyday lives, even the most basic tasks. For those who are lucky enough not to get them, they should at least be aware that they are more than “just a headache.”
According to the Mayo Clinic, the pain of migraines can become so severe that it interferes with one’s ability to work, eat, sleep, and even sit up and be in light.
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Migraines are also usually accompanied by more than just a splitting pain behind your eyes. They come with intense nausea, vomiting, vision impairment, and sensitivity to light and sound. Most people who suffer migraines rate them as 7 out of 10 on the pain scale.
With this level of agony and disturbance, one could not even brush their teeth, let alone take care of a child.
As the woman’s husband and father to their daughter, the least he could do was pick up the slack and help take care of his family. He maybe could have offered his wife a glass of water, pain medication, and a hot bath in a dark room instead of complaining that his wife writhing in pain should be the one to look after their daughter.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.