Woman Is Seeking A Straight Single Mom To Marry & Honestly, Her Offer Sounds Pretty Appealing
She offered a totally new way to think about marriage and parenting.
Mikhail Nilov / Pexels A woman named Mary Elizabeth Fabian put a call out to other women who are also raising kids on their own, asking for a new kind of relationship, and she was amazed by the response she received.
The single mom is seeking another straight, single mom to marry — and her offer is extremely appealing.
“At 37 years old with two failed marriages, I have very strong proof that I have terrible taste in men,” Fabian started her post. “But I want to get married. I want a two-parent home; I want a two-income home. And so, I have a proposal for single moms out there.”
She continued, “I am looking for a straight, single woman to marry me. I know that sounds weird, but I’ve thought this through.”
She listed off all the benefits another single mom would have, if she married her, including the fun, small details, and the bigger, pratical issues of childrearing.
“I will never judge you for wanting to decorate for every holiday,” she said. “You and me, we’ll pick all the throw pillows, the blankets — there are never too many blankets in a house and I really believe throw pillows make people happier. So, let’s decorate every holiday.”
Fabian continued her explanation of how she and the mom she sought to marry would create a loving home, saying, “I am the bonus mom who has your back."
“Your kids will always be loved,” she said. “I will always take care of them. You will always take care of my kids.” She pledged to never abandon either of their kids, explaining, “We’ve watched our kids be abandoned, haven’t we, and we’re not ever doing that again.”
Photo: cottonbro studio / Pexels
Fabian stated that she’s totally open to her mom-partner dating, as long as she doesn’t bring the person home and shares her location. She promised to take care of whatever straight single mom she ends up with: mind, body and soul.
“I have great health insurance,” she said. “Girl, I got you. There’s a 10 dollar copay to go see a doctor. There’s a 10 dollar copay for you to go see a therapist, to finally work through all those things that your ex put you through. Let’s do this.”
Fabian shared her requirements for her mom-partner, the first being that they go as a family to Disney once a year. She also requested a weekend away from their families to visit the hot springs, a self-care ritual she loves. She offered to trade time alone, saying, “I think you need the same thing, so whatever it is that you like, I’ll have the kids that weekend and it’s fine. We’ll have a great time, you go rest.”
She ended her proposal with one last promise to the straight single mom she marries: She’ll be a consistent presence of practical and emotional support.
“You’re never gonna have me throw around the fact that I’m here as proof positive that I have been enough support, because my physical presence isn’t the support, it’s the day-in, day-out, that we’re doing life together that is the support.”
Fabian made a follow-up post to her initial proposal, saying, “I had no idea this was going to be such a big thing.”
“This is a big thing because women need support. Single moms really need support. We want to be doing life — none of us went and had kids with the hope and expectation that we would not be doing it with those children’s fathers, but plenty of us are doing just that, for whatever reason.”
While this particular part of her message doesn’t apply to single moms by choice, she spoke truth to the matter of solo childrearing, saying, “It’s exhausting. And I see you, mamas. I really do see you. It is hard; it is hard no matter how good of a job you have. It is emotionally taxing. There are days that you just wanna tap out, you can’t, because it’s just you.”
“That’s why I came up with this, that’s why I started talking about this,” she continued. She remarked on the fact that she’s received 5,000 comments, stating, “I can’t marry 5,000 people, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be doing this.”
Photo: RDNE Stock Project / Pexels
“There’s a lot to be said, not just because women have had bad experiences with men, but because we want support,” she explained. “I am trying to continue this conversation because I think that there’s a lot of validity to women doing life together and working with their kids and loving their kids unapologetically. I think the more of us that can be doing that, the healthier this next generation is going to be, because I’m here to end generational trauma, not add to it.”
In a separate post, Fabian spoke to the issue of single moms being 'undervalued and under-supported.'
“There’s not a lot that we can do,” she said. “We’re just burning the candle at both ends.” Yet she noted that if she and other women follow through with her plan to get married and support one another, “all of a sudden, you’ve got that ‘4 hands are better than 2, 2 hands are better than 1,’ kind of a concept.”
She answered a question posed by a follower, about what would happen if either mom met a man they wanted to be with. She advocated for an alternative to rushing into another marriage, noting that the man might have to wait until their kids are grown up.
Photo: August de Richelieu
“We can start life in little ways, that doesn’t mean we need to be bringing these men into our children’s lives,” she said. “My kids have had enough trauma from the men who were in my life. They don’t need more. And there are a lot of women out there who feel the same way.”
Fabian is suggesting a relationship structure that places less emphasis on heterosexual marriages and more on platonic support. Her concept is a radical one, rooted in self-preservation and community building, and non-romantic love.
It’s clear that Fabian has hit on something major that’s lacking in how our society is formulated. Her idea for straight single moms to get married totally revolutionizes the way parenting operates in America by prioritizing the long-term needs of her and her family, and extending that care to other moms in need.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.