Dad Disinvites Son From His Own Birthday Party — 'He Was More Interested In Other Plans'
His son's lack of enthusiasm prompted the decision. Although, the father never asked his son what he wanted to do for his birthday.
VAKS-Stock Agency, Inside Creative House / Shutterstock After a father planned a birthday party for his son, who would be turning 18, he learned that his son had other plans on that same day and was less than enthusiastic about attending his birthday party.
Disappointed and hurt, the father decided to retaliate by informing his son that the party would no longer be for him and urging him to “not even bother” showing up. Now, the father is asking others if his reaction was appropriate.
The father disinvited his son from his own birthday party after he discovered his son made plans to go out later in the day.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, r/AITA, the 38-year-old man revealed that his first-born son is about to turn 18 years old. His birthday falls around the same time as his younger brother’s, who is about to be 15.
The man and his wife decided to throw their kids a joint birthday party, as they do each year. They planned a barbeque and invited close family and friends to celebrate with them.
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However, a few days before the party, the man’s eldest informed him that he had other plans that fell on the same day as the birthday party.
“Next Saturday, which is the day we scheduled the barbecue, will be precisely when my son turns 18 — the legal drinking age in our country,” the man wrote. “So he just told me (after all the plans were made) that he’s thinking about leaving the family party earlier to go to a bar with his friends.”
While the man allegedly told his son that he had “no problem” with him celebrating his birthday in a bar, and would even buy him his first legal drink, he asked him if he could possibly pick another day to go instead so that he wouldn’t have to leave his party early.
The father could not help but feel rejected since his son was 'more interested in his other plans.'
“He said the party is also for his half-brother so it’s not like it would make a difference if he leaves for a bar,” the man claimed. “I then decided I would not argue and said that, if that’s how he feels about our family celebration, then we’re just throwing a party for his brother and he doesn’t need to bother showing up.”
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However, many people believed the father’s reaction was a bit over the top.
They argued that turning 18 was a big deal if it meant you could legally drink for the first time, and that if the man’s son wanted to celebrate at a bar, he absolutely had the right to do so.
“18 is a special birthday, and yet again he has to share it with his little half-brother,” one user commented. “I think him attending the BBQ and then wanting to leave earlier to go partying with his buddies is a much more mature behavior than you throwing a tantrum about him wanting to do so.”
Others pointed out that since the man’s son has always had to share a birthday with his brother, he likely wanted to spend his 18th doing something for himself only.
“For years he has shared his birthday party with a half-brother. If you had made his 18th party about him only this time maybe he would have decided to stay,” one user noted. “Has it never occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, your son is sick of sharing his birthday with his half-brother? That for once, he wants the day to be just about him? Especially for something as important as this?” another user wrote.
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While throwing a joint birthday party for your children may seem like a convenient and cost-effective idea, it may leave your children feeling inadequate.
Although your children's birthdays may fall around the same time, a joint party may hinder their needs for the individual attention they deserve. They'll be forced to compromise on party themes and activities since children have different interests, and the shared event could increase the potential for jealousy between siblings.
Joint birthday parties also usually mean double the guest list, double the space, and double the money for parents who were hoping to kill two birds with one stone.
As children get older, they may be more interested in celebrating their birthday with their friends or going out to a restaurant or bar rather than having a party at home. This does not mean that they do not appreciate all of the efforts their parents put into planning a birthday party.
Many of them, like the man’s son, may want to assert their newly-gained independence by taking full control of how they spend their day, and that is completely okay. Instead of disinviting his son from his own birthday party, the father could have swallowed his pride and taken him out for a celebratory drink the following day.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.