Woman Says Her Ex Made Her Split The Cost On Every Date During Their 4-Year Relationship — 'I Had No Clue This Was Not Normal'
She claimed that he only paid for a few things in their entirety during their long-term relationship.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock Sometimes it can be hard for people to notice the red flags about their partners until long after the relationship has ended.
Such was the case for a woman and content creator named Joyce, who recalled an absurd detail about her ex-boyfriend and what he made her do during their relationship that now, she is in disbelief that she allowed it to happen.
She explained that her ex made her split the cost for every date during their 4-year relationship.
In a TikTok video, Joyce explained that when girls often talk about things their boyfriends have bought for them throughout the relationship, she unfortunately can't relate, since her boyfriend of four years often made her split the cost of every single bill with him.
"My four-year longterm ex, who was five years older than me, dating me when I was a broke college student. We went fifty-fifty on every single date after our first date," she shared in her video.
She claimed that for their first date, which was at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, he only paid for her bottle of water, but after that point, every other expense was split right down the middle between them.
Showing a screenshot of her Venmo transaction history between her and her ex, Joyce had repeatedly sent him money for expenses, including $10 for lunch and coffee, $8 for Thai food, $6 for In-N-Out, and even $5 for parking. Joyce even had to remember to take off money that she would send to him if he'd order a beer because she was 19 at the time and couldn't drink.
It got so bad that Joyce had to eventually get a job at the college library on her campus just so she could afford to go on dates with him and pay for the things that he'd ask her to pay for. She admitted that at the time, she had no idea that splitting things 50/50 with a partner wasn't a normal thing to do.
"I thought everyone and their boyfriends were all splitting fifty-fifty every single day," she continued, adding that he had a full-time job and was more than capable of paying for things on his own.
Throughout their entire 4-year relationship, Joyce recalled him only paying for things in their entirety a few times, including a couple of cups of coffee and a few birthday dinners. "We split everything," she said. "We split our anniversary dinner, we split getting just tacos. It's crazy. I'm really upset."
Photo: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels
People were shocked that Joyce, along with other women, put up with that kind of behavior for so long.
"This is wild, I always imagined 50/50 was you pick up one tab I’ll pick up the next, EVERY purchase is crazy," one TikTok user pointed out.
Another user added, "I was with someone like this as a teen. My husband now treats me like a princess I’ve never spent a dime," while a third user chimed in, "We’re both broke college students so we split pretty much everything. If one of us has more then they pay the full bill."
"I’ve been there girl, get out and don’t settle!! I would go back & forth & the guy would pick the most expensive places when it was my turn & take me to cheaper places when it was his turn to pay," a fourth user shared.
It's completely understandable that Joyce would not know any differently about the correct way to split finances while in a relationship, especially considering that she was a 19-year-old college student and her ex-boyfriend was a 24-year-old adult with a full-time career.
The power dynamic in a relationship like that can often make it challenging for a person to question arrangements such as that, especially when they believe it to be the norm. It makes it even worse when society often encourages couples to portray an image of equality and fairness.
This pressure can make it challenging for individuals to admit that they're in an unequal relationship, even when they are struggling financially. Joyce's experience serves as a reminder that couples shouldn't be afraid to discuss financial matters and that those conversations are the only way to have a balanced and healthy relationship.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.