A ‘Grossed Out’ Son Whose Dad Always Showed Affection Toward His Wife Explains How It Affected Him As An Adult
Showing your kids PDA is actually a good thing!
Julia Pavaliuk | Canva Brandon Burgess, a father of two boys and one-half of the Radical Dadicals podcast duo, recently reflected on the way his own father acted toward his mother while he was growing up. Although it may have grossed him out when he was younger, he recognized the long-lasting effects he gained from witnessing his father show affection toward her.
Burgess says he learned to be confident in his parents’ relationship and marriage even though he thought it was 'gross' as a kid.
“It may be gross at times when I was a kid, but as I grew up, I [started] to understand that it made me confident in their marriage and confident in who they are,” he revealed in a recent clip uploaded to the RadicalDadicals combined TikTok account.
Lately, it may feel like all you see on TikTok and other forms of social media are the ways in which men tend to fail in their relationships and marriages. They don’t do enough or they’re emotionally absent or are simply bad partners — this experience may be telling as to why that is. Burgess believes that, through his dad's example, he was able to see that his father would always give his mother the best that he could.
“So I would say what I learned from my dad is always, always love your wife in front of your kids. And let them know how much you love them. And by seeing that, they will also emulate that too,” he explains.
It’s a widely known fact that children learn by imitating adults, so when you’re being affectionate with your partner, you’re showing them how to be affectionate in relationships. Similarly, if you show them how to be a good partner, they’ll follow the same rules in their own relationships when they’re older.
It’s important for parents to be good role models for their children, and leading by example is a great way to do this. Though Burgess may have found it “gross" when he was a kid, he was learning that it was okay to show affection and he is now imparting that same wisdom to his two sons by showing his wife affection in their household.
Science has proven that parents’ relationships with each other greatly influence kids.
Adults and parents commonly ask themselves whether or not they should show PDA in front of their kids — the resounding answer from experts is yes.
The quality of a child's parents' marriage has as much influence on their future mental and physical health and well-being as their own relationship with either parent, according to a study published by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services over a decade ago, via Nashville Parent.
It’s important to show kids that they live in a loving and caring home, filled with parents who operate as a team and a cohesive unit. "By making a daily effort to value one another in front of the kids you can teach your children important lessons about intimacy, conflict, and balancing work and home," David Code, author of "To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First," told Nashville Parent.
Naturally, this love and affection should stay PG, as anything more sexual in nature would be inappropriate to engage in with your kids around.
Above all else, the message that Burgess hopes to send with the clip from their podcast is that “There are many ways to show affection that speak louder than words. Be the example, let kids learn from your actions.”
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.