The 5 Unequivocal Signs A Marriage Will Last, According To Experts
There's a signpost in the road ahead, and it reads, "Success Guaranteed."
AS_Photofamily | Canva In today's instant gratification consumer culture, where fast fashion and fast food rule the day, we might harken back to a time when craft people spent the time and effort to construct items built to last often beyond the life of the original purchaser.
Of course, marriage is not a material item nor a consumer good, yet a marriage built to last is nothing rare and is most definitely not a thing of the past.
You probably knew from the start that success was guaranteed in your marriage, but it might not have been a conscious thought that lit up like a neon sign.
Even if a bump in the road sends you and your spouse into counseling, you still know it will work, and your marriage is for the long haul.
Your therapist or counselor will see the obvious signs of a marriage built to last and know they have work to do, but their work will be rewarded by seeing you and your spouse return to marital bliss.
Here are the 5 unequivocal signs your marriage will last, according to YourTango experts:
1. There is a visible bond
In my marriage counseling practice, the couple always sits in swiveling chairs next to one another. On sitting down, if they turn toward each other automatically, move close together, and check in with one another as they speak, I know that their marriage bond is solid, no matter what issue brought them into my office. They are present with each other, curious about verbal and nonverbal responses, and attuned to each other, even if they are having difficulties.
— Susan Saint-Rossy, Relationship Therapist
2. Respect is always central
Respect is the one sign that a marriage will last. This includes avoiding contempt and criticism in any form.
— Reta Faye Walker, Ph.d. Relationship Coach
3. Respect also extends to disagreement
Respect even in the face of disagreement. Couples who listen to one another and respect the other's point of view, even if they disagree, are much more likely to stay together than those who exhibit disdain for the other's viewpoint, which is a bad sign.
— Laurie Mintz, Licensed Psychologist and Author
4. Both partners have a deep commitment to change — if required
When clients are committed to making any changes I suggest to improve/fix their relationship, I know they are committed to a lasting relationship because these couples take notes, eagerly accept and complete homework, and grow closer right before my eyes. It's a beautiful thing.
— Gloria Brame, Ph.D. Therapist, Author
5. Both partners are willing to work on themselves
I know a client won't move forward with divorce when that individual is paralyzed by fear. Unfortunately, it doesn’t necessarily mean the marriage will be good. Instead, it will continue to yield pain as people stay in their current situation with nothing changing. However, if they are willing to work on themselves and learn new ways to honor their boundaries, their relationship might become better.
— Jennifer Hargrave, JD, Attorney
Be sure to maintain your relationship, make regular tune-ups, and enjoy the comfort and safety of a marriage that will last.
Will Curtis is a writer and associate editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.