Man Leaves Wife At Home Because She Took Too Long To Get Ready — 'I Made My Expectations Clear & She Couldn't Be Bothered To Meet Them'
Did he just make her time management problems worse?
New Africa / Shutterstock There is always one person in every relationship who is late for every event or outing. Over time, the more punctual half of the relationship can become extremely frustrated with waiting around for their partner to get ready to go.
One man had just about enough of his wife's tardiness and decided to teach her a valuable lesson.
In a post originally shared to the AITA subreddit and later uploaded to the rslashreddit_ TikTok account, the man detailed the struggle he faced when getting ready for a baseball game that he and his wife had been anticipating for an entire week.
They are avid baseball fans so being on time was important. The man had planned out the entire evening, estimating time in traffic, parking and every other element of attending the game in person.
"Because the game started at 7 p.m., and we live about 45 minutes from the stadium, I told her this morning that she needed to be ready to get in the car and go by 6 PM," he explained. His wife enjoys gaming, so on the day of, she was fully engrossed in a video game at 5:45 p.m., just 15 minutes before they were supposed to depart.
Her timeliness had been a problem in the past and her husband had grown sick of managing her schedule, equating it to raising a "young child" who doesn't understand the concept of time at all. As expected, by 6 p.m., he was ready to go, but she was still in the bathroom getting ready.
The man decided it was time to 'teach her a lesson,' so he got in his car and left for the game without telling her.
Once she figured out that he had left, his wife was beside herself with anger, calling what he had done "completely unacceptable." He explained that she should plan better next time or be left behind again, and reminded her that he had reiterated their time of departure that morning to make sure they were on the same page.
Unmoved by his justification, she screamed at him, insulted him and hung up on him.
Since then he has concluded that she is a "narcissist" who is unable to "budget her time" and expects him to always be accommodating. He added that she is educated with a degree in science and is surely able to understand and resolve her time management issues, but chooses not to.
After the game, he ended up in the dog house, no longer allowed in his bedroom and assigned to sleep on the couch. But the man feels that his wife is the one that should be apologizing to him, not the other way around.
Though people in the thread understood his frustration, they agreed that telling her he was leaving was the right thing to do.
Compulsive tardiness might not seem like a big deal, but there are some psychological implications behind it that may have led to this husband's decision to leave his wife behind.
He assumed that his wife was being late on purpose — and he is not alone in the assumption. People who are always on time often believe that those who are chronically late are being passive-agressive, implying that their time is more valuable than those left waiting.
But extreme tardiness also says something about the offenders. If someone is late all the time, it's likely that they have a sense of anxiety when it comes to having downtime, opting to fill every minute with some activity and eventually overextending themselves.
They underestimate the time investment and fail to show up at other activities on time. They might also struggle with ending things or saying no, and try to squeeze as many deliverables in as possible.
Let's not forget the stress associated with always being late. It's cognitively demanding and causes your body to release cortisol, a survival mechanism. You might feel less confident when you do show up and find yourself eternally apologizing for being tardy.
That guilt and the associated feelings take some of the enjoyment out of life. But by properly planning, not biting off more than you can chew, and using productivity tools like calendars and alarms, you can better manage your time and turn around your reputation for showing up late.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers lifestyle, relationships, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.