Husband Claims He Doesn't 'Love' The Idea Of His Wife Having A Medicated Birth & Requests That She Tries Doing It 'Naturally'
He admitted that he brought up his concerns to his wife, but she quickly shut down the idea.
Gorodenkoff / Shutterstock A man sparked a conversation around what he can and can't have an opinion about when it concerns his wife giving birth. Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," he admitted that his wife is soon going to be giving birth, and he has some concerns about the birth plan she came up with.
He explained that he isn't thrilled that his wife wants to be medicated during labor.
In his Reddit post, which has since been deleted but was reposted on Twitter, he revealed that his wife, Beth, is currently 33 weeks pregnant, and is terrified of the entire process of giving birth. Because of that, she's had multiple conversations with her doctor about the birth plan that she wants to do, which is to be on the epidural during her labor.
"I don't love the idea of the mother of my child being loopy and out of it during a critical moment, but those concerns fell on deaf ears when I raised them," he wrote. "I felt very excluded during the discussion around pain management and neither Beth nor our doctor were receptive to my ideas."
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He continued, saying that during a conversation with his mom, she asked what Beth's birth plan was. Before their conversation, he explained that his mother and all five of his sisters-in-law had unmedicated births and that it was a "point of pride" for them to have done a "natural" birth.
So, after being asked by his mom about the birth plan, he felt pressured to lie since he knew his mom and sisters would be happy to know that Beth was also following in their footsteps.
"I just sort of panicked and told her that Beth was 'going for it the all-natural way' like she and my sisters-in-law have," he recalled. "To say my mom was freaked out with happiness is an understatement — she was thrilled that Beth was open to experiencing the full range of motherhood."
He also claimed that maybe if Beth chose to have an unmedicated birth, she would finally bond with his mom and sisters-in-law. He eventually told Beth about the lie and tried to use the opportunity to convince her that she should take it into consideration, but it didn't go over too well and she got upset that he was trying to control her labor experience.
"I was just trying to get her to see that there was an opportunity for her to create some sisterhood with the women of my family," he wrote. "I wasn't trying to upset her. I just think she would be wise to see the potential long-term implications of not having this shared experience with my mom and sisters-in-law."
Attempting to change someone's mind about their birth plan can be troublesome.
Childbirth is already a traumatic, challenging, and exhausting process that doesn't need to be made into a more stressful event by attempting to convince a woman to have an unmedicated birth. Every woman's experience with childbirth is unique, and what one woman may be able to handle is not a universal experience.
Photo: Natalia Deriabina / Shutterstock
It's amazing that this man's mother and his sisters-in-law were all able to give birth without an epidural, but his wife shouldn't be made to feel that she has to partake in the same thing just so she can "bond" with them. Motherhood isn't determined by what kind of birth a woman has, nor should it matter.
Whatever way a woman delivers her baby — whether vaginally, through a C-section, with an epidural, or without — they should all be considered natural ways of giving birth, and no woman should feel shame for whichever method happens to bring her child into this world.
It's understandable that this husband would have concerns about his wife choosing to have an epidural during labor, but he shouldn't feel comfortable with requesting that she change her mind. Instead, he should be open to having conversations around her decision, with both his wife and doctor, to better understand.
In the end, what matters most is the physical and emotional well-being of both the mother and child. Supporting a woman's choice of how she wants to give birth and providing a loving, nurturing environment during childbirth should be the top priority for any partner.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.