Woman's Husband Is 'Bored' With Their Relationship & Demands They Open It — Now He's Hurt That She's Dating His 'Silver Fox' Boss
Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.
AJR_photo, Dean Drobot / Shutterstock; Kislev from JulieK's Images via Canva Elements We’ve all heard the saying, “Careful what you wish for... you just might get it.” No words ring truer for one man who was bored with his marriage and asked his wife for an open relationship — something he would undoubtedly live to regret.
The man demanded his wife open their marriage, only to become upset when she started dating his boss.
In a video uploaded to a TikTok account that posts Reddit stories, the woman starts by saying that she never had any intentions of dating anyone and that she was content in the monogamous relationship she shared with her husband before any of this happened.
The couple had been married for eight years and she believed they had a "healthy marriage" and "great intimacy life."
She was taken aback when, a couple of months prior to sharing her story, her husband pulled her aside and expressed his dissatisfaction with their love life. He wasn’t fulfilled and transparently said that he needed something outside of his wife to get there.
His wife was confused because they shared regular intimacy and he had never hinted at any problems in the bedroom. He then suggested they open the marriage, and it made her feel “small and unwanted.”
He claimed to love his wife and said he wanted to stay with her but made it clear that she could not change anything to satisfy him sexually, and that it had to be other women. He told her that it was not about her but was about his “masculinity.”
Because of the love she felt for her husband, she reluctantly agreed to the new arrangement.
They agreed to be transparent about their dating life and he jumped in headfirst, dating a co-worker.
She described the first weeks as “excruciating,” crying herself to sleep while imagining her man enjoying time with what she perceived as “a younger and more attractive woman.” It took five months of him dating his “girlfriend” for her to finally decide that she, too, needed outside companionship.
So, she created a Tinder profile and, surprisingly, over 100 men matched with her on the very first night she joined.
The wife deemed many of them uninteresting, but then she matched with an older man. "He seemed very successful, and he was a gorgeous 'silver fox,'" she recalled. After reaching out to him, the pair met at a bar a couple of days later.
“It felt nice to have romantic butterflies for the first time in almost a decade,” the woman mused. That date was the start of a fulfilling, intimate relationship.
When she told her husband about her new relationship, he dismissed it and was not initially threatened by it.
He patted her on the head like a puppy and said, “Awwww… Good for you, honey,” before heading out to catch up with his side woman. But things came to a head when her boyfriend asked her to bring a manila envelope he had left in her car to his place of business.
He dropped by his location and she started to follow the directions to get there. She was “stunned” when she ended up at her husband’s job, having had no idea that her new boyfriend and her husband were colleagues!
She felt awkward but proceeded to her beau’s office to deliver the documents. He thanked her and gave her a kiss, but when she turned to leave, there stood her husband, his mouth in a “perfect O shape” due to the realization that his wife’s new mate just happened to be his own boss.
Though she had done nothing wrong, the woman felt ashamed and could see the hurt in her spouse’s eyes. She acknowledged him briefly and rushed out of the office.
Her husband later cried at home and begged his wife to discontinue the affair. He called her out for hurting him, prompting her to remind him that the whole thing was his idea and not hers.
Nevertheless, he pleaded to close the marriage and for her to end the relationship with his boss. However, it might now be too late because she has developed “real feelings” for her boyfriend and likes the current arrangement.
She describes her husband as “controlling and unfair,” is no longer sure she even wants to be married, and is preparing to choose between the two men.
Both parties in a relationship should agree to an open relationship, without any reluctance to do so.
There are many reasons one or both partners would want an open marriage — not wanting to adhere to the norms of monogamy, having sexual preferences or fantasies that your partner isn't comfortable with, or simply wanting to try something new.
In this case, the reason for this husband wanting to open the marriage is not entirely known, as he claimed it was about his "masculinity." However, the husband may have already been dating another woman and wanted to rid himself of any potential guilt for cheating on his wife.
Unfortunately, he failed to realize that when you ask your partner to open the relationship, especially when one partner has their eye on someone else and is only thinking about their own satisfaction, it never dawns on them that the person they’ve lost interest in has options as well.
A relationship outside of a marriage probably doesn’t seem so tantalizing when the person you thought only had eyes for you matches your energy and someone else shows interest in them. So, if you’re going to open a relationship, be prepared for the consequences of your actions, particularly if your partner isn't exactly keen on the idea to begin with.
Similarly, open relationships don't typically operate to the point where a decision between partners needs to be made. The main relationship — the one that was opened in the first place — is typically prioritized.
Although it could be argued that the man was in the wrong for opening the marriage just so he could see a woman on the side, the wife could also be considered wrong for not prioritizing the health of her relationship with her husband.
Having an open relationship requires both parties to be on board, as well as having ground rules and plenty of communication. They're not meant for everyone, so make sure it's really what you want.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle, entertainment, and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.