Woman Explains Why She Does Not Ever Want A Son — 'Sorry To All The Boys And Men Out There, But I Just Can't'
She pointed out that there are certain fears when it comes to raising a son versus raising a daughter.
@sophiaacsta / TikTok Becoming a parent is often considered one of the most significant and life-altering experiences a person can go through. Challenging as it can sometimes be, parenthood is a journey filled with love, joy, and fulfillment.
But for some people, having children isn't something on their agenda, and this is the case for a woman named Sophia, who admitted that not only does she never want children, but she especially doesn't want to be a boy mom.
She explained the reason why she doesn't ever want to have a son.
In Sophia's TikTok video, she said she had stumbled across another content creator who admitted that she isn't sure she wants to become a boy mom, an opinion that Sophia agreed with.
"My entire childhood and even now I always thought about this. I do not want to have a son," Sophia declared. "I'm sorry to all the boys and men out there but I genuinely don't want a son."
She pointed out that when they're young, they're easy to take care of since they're just a child, but it's only when they start growing up, that the issues follow. Sophia claimed that if she were ever the mother of a son, she would never defend his behavior if he acted misogynistic towards women, or did anything harmful.
She provided the example of other boy moms who swear up and down that their sons would never do terrible things, while Sophia maintained that if she had a son, she would never be so quick to defend him against prospective allegations of bad behavior. "In court, if I had to testify, like no, he 100% did it and I don't feel bad."
Sophia defended her opinion, saying that she would act this way toward her daughter if she had one. "Even if it was a daughter, I would say the same thing. But the risks are just way higher with the son."
She recalled reading Emily Ratajkowski's book of essays, 'My Body,' and in one of the first chapters, Ratajkowski wrote about the fear she had after having her son, Sylvester, and worrying about raising him against the values of the patriarchy so that he would grow up to be a good person and man.
Upon reading that excerpt, Sophia explained that she agreed with Ratajowski's worries, which aligned with the number one reason that she didn't want to be a boy mom.
It's becoming more common for people to desire having daughters over sons.
There was once a time when parents in America had a stronger preference for having sons than daughters. According to Gallup, who surveyed Americans 10 times from 1941 to 2011, it was found that if they could have one child, 40% would prefer a boy and 28% a girl.
However, within the last few years, the decision to have sons over daughters has swayed. In an interview with the New York Times, Michael Thompson, a psychologist who studies the development of boys, explained the reason why so many people are terrified of having sons now.
"There is now a subtle fear of boys and the trouble they might bring," Thompson said. "Parents think: ‘My son might have ADHD, might not fit in as well in school, there might not be jobs for him. Life is going to be a little tougher for him as a boy.’"
While it is understandable that people, especially women, may have these subtle fears of raising boys because of the trouble they may bring in the future, it's crucial to approach parenthood with an open mind and a willingness to address these worries. The fear Sophia and others express can serve as a catalyst for meaningful conversations and preparations.
Parents can choose this moment to proactively prepare and educate themselves on the best ways to cater to a boy's development and the importance of making sure that the next generation of men being raised understand the values of feminism, equality, and compassion.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.