People Debate Whether A Man Liking Another Woman's Bikini Photo Is Worse Than A Woman Posting One
Is one really "worse" than the other or does it all depend on a couple's relationship boundaries?
Dean Drobot / Kicking Studio / Shutterstock An Instagram user sparked a heated debate about social media etiquette after he posted a video calling out women who were in relationships that still posted photos of them wearing bikinis.
He implies that women who do so are hypocrites, since some of them may call out their male partners for liking other women’s bikini photos on social media.
The man raises the question of who is really to blame, and Instagrammers flocked to the comment section to battle it out.
The man stated that men in heterosexual relationships liking other women’s bikini pictures actions were justifiable.
That's because, according to him, the women are the ones posting the photos for them to be liked.
In an Instagram reel, influencer Harald Tronsli demonstrates a conversation between a fictional couple.
“Babe, I don’t think it’s OK that you’re liking other girls’ bikini pictures,” the “woman” of the relationship (who is just Harald with a rag tossed over his head) says.
“OK. But you post bikini pictures and get likes from other men?” the man of the relationship (also Harald) says.
“Yeah but it’s different,” the woman replies before Harald turns to the camera adding question marks to the text overlay of the video.
The video, which takes a jab at women who do not approve of their partners liking other females’ bikini photos, while posting their own bikini photos that other men have liked, generated a controversial affair in the comments section.
Some believe that men in relationships have the right to like other women’s bikini photos on social media.
“I stopped posting bikini pictures like that years ago when I realized this is what I was asking my partner, it’s a valid point,” one woman commented. “You’re enjoying a quick picture, she’s seeking validation outside of marriage,” another user wrote, seemingly attacking women who do post bikini photos.
“Had this argument with my girl when we first started dating. 40+ dudes in her DMs all calling her gorgeous and all this s–-t but God forbid I like a former coworker's beach picture,” another user shared.
However, others argued that a woman asking her male partner not to like other women’s bikini photos was not the same as a woman posting bikini pictures.
“Is she liking the dude's post? No, she's posting pics. So it's not the same. She didn't ask you to stop posting pictures of yourself, that would be the same,” one user pointed out.
"So if I have a boyfriend I cannot post pictures at the beach because others might like my photos? Come on... that's 100% stupid,” another user wrote. “Also, yes, if you are in a relationship and liking other women's bikini pics, you are being a creep.”
“When a man likes another girl's photos, he shows a sign of attention to another girl. When a girl posts a photo of herself, she doesn’t show attention to someone special, but most often she simply expresses herself publicly,” another user wrote.
Photo: SkyNext / Shutterstock
Other women revealed that they do not necessarily post bikini pictures to gain male attention.
“I don’t post photos in a bikini to be liked by men, that’s not my intention. I just like my bikini photo and find it beautiful,” one user admitted. “It’s mind-blowing that men still think we do everything because of them and their attention.”
“I post pictures regularly. A lot of them are intentionally sexy. But honestly, I'm not terribly concerned with getting likes. I actually do Instagram for myself to keep track of cute outfits and makeup looks I've tried,” another user commented. “Even though I am straight, I get most excited when another girl likes my photo.”
Is it appropriate for men in heterosexual relationships to like photos of other women in bikinis?
The answer to this question simply depends on a couple’s boundaries in the relationship. Some women may not mind if their partner likes risque photos of other women on social media, especially if there is trust in the relationship.
It is important that these boundaries be discussed beforehand to avoid any misunderstandings.
Men in serious relationships liking other women’s bikini photos may not necessarily be a bad thing if both parties do not see an issue with it.
“Someone’s boyfriend or partner may like other women’s pictures on Instagram for many reasons, not all of which are threatening to the relationship,” Jaclyn Gulotta, a licensed mental health counselor, wrote in an article published in “Choosing Therapy.”
“Liking other women’s pictures may become inappropriate if it makes you feel uncomfortable, affects your self-esteem, the picture is risqué, or the woman is someone your boyfriend has been involved with or attracted to,” Gulotta wrote.
Photo: G-Stock Studio / Shutterstock
Should women in serious relationships post bikini pictures on social media?
It is important to note that women posting bikini photos may not be doing so to gain attention from or seek validation from men outside of their relationships.
Social media provides a platform through which we can express ourselves, and some women may feel confident and proud of their photos. They may want to express their confidence and pride by sharing their pictures online.
While many women in relationships may just be simply posting a photo of themselves in a bikini because they like it, they may want to ask themselves if there is any deeper reason they are sharing it.
Mel Schilling, a relationship expert and psychologist, encourages women in relationships to ask themselves a variety of questions before posting a bikini picture on social media, including, “Why choose a bikini photo over other photos to post?” “How do you feel if no one likes or comments on them?” and “Do you want your boyfriend to see your photos and the comments left by other people?”
“I am asking these questions, not to judge you, but to encourage your self-awareness. We often post images on social media without a conscious awareness of why we are doing it or what we hope to achieve by it,” Schilling told Yahoo! Lifestyle.
“Ask yourself honestly, is there a connection between the type of photos you’re posting and the attention you want from your boyfriend?”
Schilling advises women to also ask themselves if there may be something missing in their relationships that they may be trying to capture through social media posts.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.