After Having Her Second Baby, Everything A Woman's Husband Does Bothers Her — 'I Can't Find A Thing About Him That Doesn't Annoy Me'
Postpartum exhaustion and frustration are real.
Kampus Production / Pexels A mom vented her frustrations about her husband on the subreddit r/BreakingMoms, which is a “for Moms only” forum on Reddit that declares, “Just say what’s going on. No judgments, no nastiness.” The online community provides an outlet for moms in need of emotional guidance and support as they navigate the often-stormy seas of being a primary caretaker.
The mom declared that everything her husband does bothers her ever since she had her second baby.
“I’ve had ups and downs with him throughout my entire 2nd pregnancy,” she explained. “I kind of attributed those to my own hormones [especially ]since I got pregnant so quick after having our 1st, she’s only a year old now. But since the 2nd has arrived I truly can’t seem to find a thing about him that doesn’t annoy me.”
The mom needed a place to express the challenges of maintaining a romantic partnership after having a new baby. She recognized some of her feelings might be tied to hormonal shifts, yet that doesn't make them any less valid.
She described how their first child is very attached to her husband, to the extent that she cries when she sees him, and “she wants to be picked up and played with by her dad all the time and to be honest it annoys me.”
The recounting of her situation made it seem as though she might have some level of birth trauma, as she stated, “Him acting like because I look fine I didn’t push a whole baby out and tear and nearly [die] from preeclampsia just two weeks ago.”
‘His attitude as if he’s the only one struggling with a new baby annoys me,’ the mom proclaimed.
Her husband also appeared to profess his opinions on the mom’s nursing relationship with their new baby, in a way that highlighted he doesn’t seem to fully understand the nuances or challenges associated with breastfeeding a newborn baby. According to the mom, he told her that “my breastmilk is what’s making our 2nd gassy and that we should stop giving that to him just because he gets hungry quicker annoys me. Especially since I struggled to bond with our 1st and couldn’t breastfeed her at all.”
Photo: Monica Turlui / Pexels
She reported that he’ll offer to help with the baby at night, only to complain about being tired the next day. The mom also said that he’s begun “talking about wanting to go to work already knowing I can barely walk… Him telling me how to feed or hold or change my baby annoys me.”
The mom mentioned that he doesn’t want “anyone else to come around to even help… he wants to stay away from anyone that isn’t his family and it’s getting on my nerves now, especially since his family is zero help across the ocean.”
She ended her post by exclaiming, “Honestly, I just needed a place to rant while I cried silently.”
The deep range of emotions this mom feels, hinging on frustration and exhaustion, are a very common experience during the postpartum period.
Not only does she feel physically depleted from the intensity of labor and around-the-clock caregiving, she doesn’t seem emotionally nourished by her partner.
Photo: RDNE Stock Project / Pexels
Only a few other mothers left comments beneath her post. Some of those moms expressed feeling similarly after their own babies were born. Others seemed to foresee a more sinister situation, proclaiming that it seemed like her husband was intentionally isolating her while not meeting her needs.
In the heady and tumultuous days and months that follow the birth of a new baby, it’s entirely normal to feel as though life as you knew it has been upended.
This mom seems to be doing what she can do to get by, and she’s reaching out for support in the ways that are accessible to her. It’s valuable for her to voice her annoyance at her husband; to do so removes some of the stigma surrounding the complexity of her emotions.
At some point, she and her husband will hopefully to a point where they openly communicate their difficult feelings without wounding each other. For now, she’s doing the best she can with the tools she has accessible.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.