Husband Wonders How To Help His Wife After She Angrily Told Their Youngest Daughter She 'Regretted Having Her' — 'I Can See She's Reaching The End Of Her Tether'
He knows his wife is experiencing stress from taking care of their daughter.
4 PM production and vmaslova via Shutterstock / Reddit A man opened up about feeling helpless about how he can help his wife who is experiencing parental burnout.
Posting to the subreddit "r/relationship_advice," an online forum where people can share issues that are happening in their friendships, romantic partnerships, or family relationships, he revealed that he and his wife's 2-year-old daughter has been putting a strain on their emotions, and he's now wondering how he can go about helping his wife work through how she's feeling.
He explained that he's worried about his wife after she angrily told their daughter she 'regretted having her.'
In his Reddit post, he wrote that when he and his wife first met while they were in their 30s, she had a 21-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. When they met, he didn't have any biological children of his own but wanted to become a dad.
"I've always felt that she wanted to give me a biological child more than she wanted it herself," he admitted.
Now, both he and his wife are in their 40s and have a 2-year-old daughter. He acknowledged that he knew being a parent at 42 would be difficult, but he had confidence that he and his wife would be fine.
"Our youngest daughter is going through the terrible twos, and it's a lot. We both love her and she's thriving, but she's having tantrums, biting and throwing," he continued. While he's aware that their daughter's "terrible twos" is just a phase and she will eventually level out, the stress of her behavior has been getting to the two of them, but more so his wife.
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He recalled during a particular outburst several weeks ago, his wife got angry at their daughter and screamed that she "regretted having her" which shocked him to hear her say. He explained that his wife has a bit of a temper and has tried to control it around their daughter, but he can see that she is coming to the end of her rope.
"Money is tight and I'm working two jobs to support us, so I'm tired all the time. My wife works three days a week at a job she hates, and I know she'd like to be a [stay-at-home mom] but we can't afford it," he added. "What can I do to help my wife get through this?"
It's a completely normal phenomenon for caregivers to experience parental burnout.
Parental burnout is a very real and serious circumstance experienced by both mothers and fathers. It can occur when the constant stress and demands of parenting become overwhelming, eventually leading to emotional exhaustion.
According to a study conducted by Ohio State University, it was found that 66% of working parents meet the criteria for parental burnout. Unchecked parental burnout is associated with depression, anxiety, and punitive parenting practices.
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There are many ways that parents can work through parental burnout, or in this case, when one partner is feeling it harder than the other. Being able to share and delegate parental tasks can help tremendously in helping lighten the load.
It's also important to make sure that, if your partner is experiencing burnout, they should take some time to themselves and spend some time away from being a parent, even if it's just for a couple of hours.
It's important to remember that parental burnout is a part of the parenting journey, and it does not diminish the love or dedication parents have for their children. Acknowledging and addressing burnout is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling parenting experience.
Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can be beneficial, and it's okay to take breaks and practice self-care to recharge and be a more present and engaged parent.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.